Hate Before Love
by Demented Koneko
Summary: Yamato and Taichi don't see eye to eye and often getting into fights, but when Hikari gets posioned they have to work together to save her before it is too late. TaichiYamato COMPLETE
1. Hate

**Authors Notes:** Sorry for uploading this again. The reviews wouldn't show up for when I uploaded this a few days ago. Thought perhaps maybe there was something wrong with the html document I uploaded. 

This is kind of my first Taito fic. I attempted to write one before, but it turned out very badly. Of course I'm not sure if this much better. Sorry my writing skills are very poor and the same with my grammar and spelling. Sorry for any out of characterness this may contain

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Please do not sue. 

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Hate before Love: Chapter one

The sun sparkled beautifully through the cracks of leaves and shone brightly across the land. Walking through the wilderness were eight children with strange creatures called Digital monsters (Digimon for short). The temperature was boiling hot and burning violently at their skin. The weather was acting so peculiar lately. One minute it was snowing, the next sunny, than back to rain. 

Taichi Yagami the leader of the group walked ahead the rest with a fierce firey passion, while the others paced far behind, worn out and dying for something to drink or eat to cool them down. Although feeling like they were in an oven, their skin was protected for the time being. Mimi having decided that if she couldn't enjoy the Digital world she should at least be able to tan had brought sun lotion with her. Jyou had also brought some lotion, which could soothe and heal burns or blisters just in case someone did get burnt. He had already treated Takeru numerous times, seeing that the young child burnt so easily. Unfortunately it was only a matter of time before it ran out. 

Meanwhile a blonde pale boy trailed far behind the rest, shovelling his feet along with his gaze fixed upon the ground. Everything just seemed messed up right now. So wrong…. Thoughts of this whole experience constantly circled his mind, yet nothing made any sense. "Damnit…" he mumbled under his breath harshly.

The heat was making him even more confused. Tightly he clinched his fists in his pockets. He stopped for a second, allowing aloud sigh to escape his mouth. After wiping the sweat from his forehead he took out his harmonica which he always kept securely in his back pocket. He longed to play it so dearly. It helped him when he was feeling troubled and depressed, It's beautiful enchanting melodies soothed him. He had learned to play many songs on the small rusty instrument, yet only one song could help him through these times of sorrow. 

His eyes departed from the ground and focused on the others who seemed to be miles ahead.. Frowning, he placed the harmonica back in his pocket and began walking again. It was only when he took a few steps, did he hear heavy breathing coming from behind. Turning his head around he saw his Digimon staggering behind him. Up until now, Yamato had forgotten all about his Digital companion. The dog like creature was panting heavily. No wonder, he was still wearing that big fur coat.

"Gabumon are you alright?" Yamato asked trying to sound more concerned than he actually was.

"I'm fine." The large dog panted in reply. 

"You sure? You really don't look so good."

"I'm just a little hot that's all."

"No wonder. Take off your fur."

Gabumon instantly shook his head and cried out. " We'd better catch up with the others. We don't want to get left behind now." Trying his best to change the subject.

If Yamato was feeling less depressed, he would have maybe laughed. Gabumon was very shy when it came to taking his fur off. He hated people looking at him without, it made him feel completely naked. Yamato frowned as the though brought back another memory. 

When Devimon had split File Island apart, he sent everyone to different sections of the island. Ymato had been extremely worried about the safety of his younger brother Takeru. He desperately wanted to find him but the weather outside was freezing. Despite Gabumon telling him that it was to cold to go outside and he would search for Takeru instead, Yamato went out to look anyway. Luckily Gabumon saved him from freezing to death. "If it wasn't for Gaumon, I-I'd be dead." Gabumon had saved his life many times yet he had never truly thanked him. And now when Gabumon was struggling, he was acting like he couldn't care less. Mentally he slapped himself for being so selfish. 

__

Goddamnit Ishida, can't you think about anyone else apart from yourself?! His thoughts had been plaguing him so much lately that he rarely took notice of Gabumon that much now. A sympathetic smile smiled replaced his frown as he turned back to Gabumon. Gently he patted the Digimon on the head. "Don't worry you can rest now." 

"But what about the others?" questioned Gabumon quietly. 

"I'm sure they'll stop to let you rest. Don't worry about it."

Gabumon frowned slightly. "I don't want to be the cause for holding everyone back."

For a few short seconds, Yamato stared into his partner's eyes. Even when struggling, Gabumon puts others first. He had helped Yamato out many times, and he couldn't ask for a better friend. Gabumon was so kind and caring. Gabumon was everything Yamato was not…

"You're tired and need rest. Besides earlier they looked really tired, I'm sure they'll wanna rest for a little while too. "

"But what about Taichi?" 

"He won't mind. I'll go catch up to the others and tell them we are going to take a break. I'll be back in a minute." Said Yamato before running off.

"Yamato wait1" yelled Gabumon. But it was to late, he had already vanished behind the trees. 

"My feet are killing me!" whined Mimi.

"For once I agree with you." replied Jyou as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. Behind him limped an almost lifeless Gommamon. The sun was killing him. Although he could live on land as well as in water, the sun was drying him up and consuming all his energy. 

"Jyou…" Feeling dazed, Gommamon collapsed on the ground.

"Gommamon!" Quickly Jyou rushed to help his partner. "Gommamon what's wrong?!"

I don't think I can go on much longer, I need water." Gommamon replied weakly.

"Poor thing." Said Sora as she gently stroked the Digimon's fur.

Jyou stood up. His expression held worry and panic knowing the consequences if Gommamon became to dehydrated. 

Quickly Yamato ran past them, not even looking or caring what was going on. For the moment Gabumon was his main concern. He could see a figure, which he knew, was Taichi in the distance. He groaned in frustration. Wasn't the main idea of being a leader to lead and protect the group? But than again, Yamato never had excepted Taichi as his leader. After all, nobody told Yamato Ishida what to do. Unfortunately this let to many disagreements and arguments between him and Taichi. It annoyed him deeply that Taichi always jumped into fights without even thinking. Instead of choosing the safest way, battling seemed to be his solution for everything. Minutes later he managed to catch up to the brunette. 

"Tai…chi." Yamato panted loudly, stopping to catch his breath.

"You look exhausted." Taichi replied as he turned to look at Yamato.

"No wonder with how far we've travelled." Yamato answered coldly.

"C'mon we haven't walked that far."

"What?! We've been walking for over four hours straight barely resting once! I think its time to give everyone a rest, Taichi. Gabumon is really worn out and hot. I don't know how much longer he can go on."

But we can't stop now. We've gotten so far and we need to keep moving."

Rage was burning within Yamato. How could Taichi be so inconsiderate? Wasn't a leaders main interest to look out for everyone? "Nothings ever good enough for you Yagami, is it? No matter how hard everyone tries you always expect more. Always pushing." Yamato muttered under his breath harshly. Taichi didn't seem to have heard him, not that he'd have care if Taichi had anyway. He had longed for so long to tell Taichi how he really felt about him.

Taichi let out a sigh. Yamato stood in silence, staring at him with those cold blue eyes of his. Taichi could always tell when he was angry. His eye would transform into a darker shade of blue. The coldness of the stare stung right through him like tiny daggers aimed directly at his heart.

"Look Yamato, I know you're tired but if we just keep going we can reach the other side of the lake before nightfall."

"What?! Are you out of your mind?! Taichi that's miles a way. There's no way in hell we would make it there before nightfall."

The brunette shrugged, not realising what he was getting so upset about. "Fine if you think it'll take so long, we'll get the Digimon to evolve and take us there, then." He turned around to face his Digimon partner Agumon. "You can evolve into Wargreymon and take us there, eh buddy?"

Agumon looked panicked obviously to tired for the challenge. "Well…uh"

"See no problem." Taichi replied, patting his Digimon on the back and giving a small confident laugh.

The anger that pounded through Yamato's heart was increasing. Breathing deeply, he tried to contain his rage knowing that if he let it all out he would end up punching Taichi on the face. 

"Look Taichi, your Digimon can barely go on, never mind carry everyone. And Gabumon is on the verge of collapsing. He needs rest."

"Well if that's the case, then why aren't you with him?" Taichi was definitely pushing it, especially by speaking to him in that way. "He's your partner, how can you just leave him like that?" 

All right, now Taichi was making him to be the insensitive one? Yamato could no longer contain his anger. "Damnit Taichi! Do you really want to know why I'm here?! It's because everyone thinks you as the leader. Wherever you go, they follow. I mean if you jumped off a goddman cliff, they'd probably jump too! They're mideless shells. They depend on you to do what's right. And all you're doing is leading them into exhaustion. Some leader…"

"Who do you think you're talking too!?" 

"Well you obviously." Yamato snapped back angrily.

Agumon looked in confusion as the two chosen children argued. He was used to it by now, but still he had a worry that they would take their fights to far.

"I think I'll go back to check on Gabumon. Said Agumon running off to avoid further conflict. But neither Yamato nor Taichi seemed to notice he had gone. 

"You know we have to destroy the evil that plagues the Digital world, and sitting about wasting time isn't gonna save it, is it?!" shouted the goggle headed boy. 

"Pushing everyone to the limit of exhaustion isn't going to save it either!"

"Well we've got to try and keep moving. We've got responsibilities. And if you haven't forgotten one of them includes saving a world from destruction."

"And if you haven't forgotten, you've got responsibilities as the leader of the Digidestined to look out for everyone. While you're way up here, the others are back there and could have been in trouble!"

"They have their Digimon to protect them. And besides when did you start giving a damn about the others safety? I bet you're the one who's tried, but just pushing the blame on everybody else so you wont look weak!" cried Taichi in his defence.

"I care a lot more than you Taichi! A lot of Digimon have sacrificed their lives for us. Wizardmon, Whamon, Chuumon, Pixiemon…" Slowly he took a deep breath. "And you act like you don't even care what they done for us. When Mimi was showing respect and gratitude for them, all you done was yell at her. Don't you realise if it wasn't for them, we'd all be dead!"

"God you're making me out to be some horrible monster! You're the one that barely shows any emotion at all. Always pissed off at something."

"Yeah I admit I'm pissed off all the time. Wanna know why? It's cause of insensitive jerks like you!" 

"How can you call me a jerk when you are the one that comes and starts fights. You complain about everything I do!"

"And nothing I or the others do, is good enough for you!"

Taichi having a slightly aggressive personality could no longer take the crap that the blonde was throwing at him. First he was calling him a monster, now a jerk?! His blood boiled beneath his skin, not being able to believe Yamato's ungrateful attitude. After all he did a lot more to help the group than Yamato ever did. The lone wolf kept to himself showing that he cared about nobody except from himself. At least Taichi was doing something.

"The only thing that isn't good enough for me is your attitude!" shouted Taichi, before leaping on him and pinning him to the ground. Yamato wasn't surprised by the goggle boy's actions, he had wanted to do the same thing to him. Yamato struck back, viciously pushing Taichi hard upon the ground. He raised his fist and smacked Taichi on the jaw. 

Taichi growled and pushed himself back, throwing the blonde backward with ease. Yamato had to admit it Taichi was very strong. But still, he wasn't going to give up so easily. As Taichi punced Yamato's face, Yamato moved swiftly and attempted to grab hold of his arm. But Taichi was to fast and ended up twisting his instead. Yamato wanted to cry out and release the pain, but forced himself to keep it locked up inside. He wasn't going to allow Taichi to beat him. He was going to prove he was strong. He fought back taking every punch Taichi threw at him.

"Bastard!" he yelled, knocking the brunette out of the way.

"Fuck you!" he gripped hold of Yamato's shirt tightly, pushing him into a tree. Yamato struggled to escape but Taichi had his arms pinned firmly to the ground. Now he was trapped. He had let Taichi beat him. He had let him destroy his pride. 

By now Taichi's whole face was red, filled with complete and utter rage. He held his fist above him ready to pound Yamato some more. Yamato didn't care about the pain, he didn't care if Taichi was to beat him up, anymore, all he wanted was to be alone. His mind flashed back to his exhausted partner Gabumon. 

__

Every time I start to care about someone, something bad like this always happens. Why the hell do I even bother?

"You better take the things you said, back Ishida!" Taichi yelled, his grip still tightly grasping hold of the blondes top.

Yamato snorted. "I'm not gonna take back the true."

"That's it!!!"

Just as Taichi was about to beat his victim into a bloody pulp, there was a loud cry.

"Taichi!" It was Sora. "Yamato!" The others ran quickly behind her. As she approached them, she gasped and stopped. "What's going on?"

__

Isn't it obvious? Yamato stated in his mind. His eyes soon flashed from Sora to the other chosen. Behind Mimi, stood his younger brother Takeru. Fear and embarrassment swept over him as he gazed into his brother's eyes. _No. Please don't let him see me like this. Please, no. _

"That's it, you to stop right now!" cried the red headed girl.

"No way, Sora!" Taichi retorted angrily. "I'm going to give Yamato what he deserves, once and for all!"

"Onii-chan!" Takeru ran past Mimi towards his slightly battered brother, and gave him a huge hug. "Onii-chan…" He spoke quietly. His little gaze faded from Yamato and focused sadly on Taichi. Taichi frowned seeing Takeru's frightened and worried expression. Reluctantly he let go of Yamato and stood up. "Are you alright?" Asked Takeru, still hugging him. 

"Yeah I'm fine." As Yamato got up he could feel everybody's eyes fixed upon him, especially Taichi's. He hated being stared at as if he was some poor creature locked away in a zoo, for all the passers to stare at.

There were a few moments of silence until Taichi's little sister called out to her brother. "Taichi!" she cried, rushing towards him. He bent down and hugged her tightly back, smiling only slightly. Instead she gazed up at him in confusion. "What were you and Yamato doing?"

"Technically they were fighting." Koushiro butted in.

Yamato groaned to himself. Sometimes he felt like punching Koushiro when he butted into matters that didn't concern him.

Hikari gasped. "But Taichi…" Taichi looked partly ashamed, but Yamato could plainly see that within his eyes, there was no regret at all. "Onii-chan, Okaasan told us fighting was wrong."

"You've been fighting ever since you came to the Digital world"_. _Yamato sighed to himself quietly. But he knew what she meant and unlike Taichi he felt ashamed of himself. And now he had set a bad example for Takeru. Sighing he bent down and placed his hands on Takeru's shoulders. "You're right, I'm sorry." He whispered quietly. Takeru nodded sadly.

"We're supposed to be fighting the dark masters not each other." Complained Sora. 

"He started it." Said Taichi, shrugging like he didn't care.

"Me?! You're the one that punched me!" Yamato retorted in defence. 

"Well if you hadn't came and told me how to be the leader and how shit I am at it, then I wouldn't have lost my temper!"

"I didn't say you were a bad leader. I was looking out for my Digimon. You should push everyone so hard all the time."

"Hikari-chan." Whispered Takeru moving over to her.

"Onii-chan, please stop." Hikari begged, gently tugging on his shorts.

"The reason I do push everyone so hard is because I do care! I don't want to see them get hurt and I want to save the Digital world before it's too. If we don't hurry everything will be destroyed." 

"Well that doesn't mean you can everyone so hard till their collapsing with exhaustion."

"Then we'll just have to go on like that if we want to save the Digital world, wont we." 

Yamato's teeth gritted tightly together as he clenched his fist so hard that his nails were digging straight into his flesh. "God Taichi sometimes I think your hair is so big that it's crushing your pathetic excuse for a brain, you supposedly have in that thick head of yours!" 

That did it. Again Taichi flung himself onto the blond, pinning him down to the ground like last time. But before Taichi could throw a punch, Yamato pushed himself back up, throwing Taichi off of him. 

"You're a selfish little brat!" yelled Taichi running after him.

"At least I can actually use my brain to come up with a good plan!" Yamato snarled back.

"Stop it, this insane!" Sora cried frantically. They ignored her, continuing to throw useless punches at each other.

Jyou and Koushiro stepped in, trying their best to hold them back. Jyou tried calming Yamato down as he gripped him down, making sure he could escape. Koushiro on the other hand was having an extremely hard time controlling Taichi who kept struggling to get away.

"Would you two stop it! For godsake you're acting like children. Is that anyway to act around Hikari and Takeru?!" Sora was definitely mad. Usually she tried to calm down the arguments with gentleness and patience. Like everybody else the heat was really getting to her. 

Yamato and Taichi stared at their younger siblings with extreme guilt. This time Taichi felt really ashamed. He bent down and hugged Hikari tightly. "I'm sorry, I really am." 

Hikari nodded uneasily, accepting her brother's apology. 

Takeru looked up at Yamato with tears in his eyes. "Ta-takeru…"

"Fighting friends is bad Onii-chan, really bad." The younger boy whispered so only Yamato could hear. He turned and walked over to Patamon who was with the other Digimon.

"Takeru I'm sorry." He stopped, finally giving up, not seeing how things could ever get any worst. _I can't do anything right._

"Now that you two have finished your little confutation can we focus on what's really important!" yelled Jyou loosing his temper. "Just look at Gommamon!" Gently he picked the exhausted Digimon in his arms.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Taichi sounding worried.

"He's dehydrating from the lack of water." Koushiro answered. "The sun's so hot that it's practically draining all of his energy. Gommamon may be able to live on land, but after a certain amount of time he needs water. And since this heat is almost unbearable, it's shorting Gommamon's need of water. And if he doesn't get it soon…."

"Taichi we need to get to a river, or lake, or something!" cried Jyou frantically. 

"Just relax, Gommamon will be okay." Taichi replied calmly. "The lakes not that far away. We'll just need to move as fast as we can." The others nodded without question.

Jyou looked down upon his Digimon sympathetically. "Don't worry Gommamon, you'll be alright. You'll be back to your old sarcastic self in no time." The helpless Digimon glared up at his human companion pathetically.

It was at that moment that Yamato was reminded of his own Digimon, Gabumon. 

"Gabumon!" Quickly he made his way back to where he had left Gabumon earlier. He cursed himself for being so stupid. The whole point of that fight was for Gabumon's welfare, and he had went and forgotten all about him. "Gabumon don't worry. I'm coming!" As he drew closer, two figures appeared. It was Agumon who was helping the struggling Gabumon to walk. "Gabumon! Gabumon are you alright?!"

The Digimon nodded weakly. "I'm fine, just a little worn out, that's all."

__

Gabumon…

The others came rushing up behind him. "What's wrong with Gabumon?" Mimi asked.

"Wow, no wonder he's so hot with that big fur coat on. He really should have taken it off." Taichi commented.

"Well he didn't want to take it off!" Yamato snapped back.

"I was only saying."

"Well just-" Sighing he stopped, and turned his attention back to Gabumon. There was no since in causing anymore arguments, especially when two Digimon were in trouble. At that moment Gabumon De-digivolved to Tsunomon.

"Gabumon!"

"We'd better get Tsunomon and Gommamon to the lake fast!" spoke Sora always concerned for the others well-beings. Everyone nodded and quickly followed Taichi as he led them towards the river.

Yamato remained still as he glanced upon the others determined faces. He felt stupid and weak, and for the first time in years he wanted to burst into tears. Yet his coolness and sense of pride prevented him from doing so. He bent down picking up Tsunomon and ran to catch up with the others.

**************************************

It took longer than expected to reach the river, but it seemed that everyone was just relieved they got there. Jyou had instantly thrown Gommamon into the water the moment they got there and with in minutes Gommamon had returned to his old self. Yamato laid Tsunomon in a shallow puddle so there wouldn't be any chance of the little Digimon drowning. Taichi decided to stay by the river until everyone felt better. Probably the only good decision Taichi had made in along time, Yamato thought. 

He sat away from the others and was definitely not in the mood to talk to anyone. He gazed at Tsunomon who was surrounded by the others Digimon who were trying to make him feel better. Yamato knew he was the one who should be over there, but something held him back. Perhaps it was the fear that he would only cause more trouble. 

Takeru sat beside Taichi and Hikari. He seemed really quiet and for such a young child, seemed be to deeply in thought. Yamato cursed himself for being such and asshole and letting the hatred he 'thought' he held towards for Taichi get in the way of caring for Takeru. The word 'thought' circled through his mind making him feel even more confused. He forced himself so much to believe that Taichi was nothing but an insensitive jerk and not to be trusted, but hated. Taichi could be very hot headed, he admitted that, but sometimes he thought the hatred he held towards him could be perceived as something else. Still, he tried to ignore the though. 

Jealousy weighed over him as he saw Takeru talking to Taichi a few minutes later. Why did Takeru have to talk to Taichi when he had him? The blond has a deep suspicion that sometimes he was trying to take his Otouto-san away from him. The rage boiled violently beneath his skin. Why the hell was he doing this? He already had Hikari! What made him more fearful of losing Takeru to him, was that he knew Taichi was a good older brother. He cared for Hikari deeply and would always try his absolute best to protect her no matter what. Takeru and Hikari had developed a good friendship since Hikari had joined the team and they hung around a lot together. Hikari spent a lot of time with Taichi, which meant Takeru also would be spending time with him. 

Yamato was shocked as he realised something. He was doing just what he feared. He was pushing Takeru towards Taichi. The more he and Taichi fought the closer Takeru became with Hikari and Taichi. He heard a sweet laugh coming from were Takeru was sitting. Then several other laughs could be heard including Taichi's. Never in his life, had he felt so pathetic and worthless. Tears began to form in his eyes, begging to be released. He fought hard to hold them back. He curled up into a small ball and clasped hold of his knees, pulling them towards him. He wished so much that the pain would just disappear and leave him alone. Go and taunt some other person instead of him.

"Yamato what's wrong?" he heard a little voice ask. He looked up to see his Digimon partner gazing at him with worry and concern in his eyes.

"Tsunomon! Are you alright now?" he responded picking the Digimon up.

"Yes I feel better now, but you don't look so good. What's wrong?"

Sighing he put Tsunomon down, wishing he could just ignore his question. "Nothing, I'm fine."

Tsunomon frowned. He knew his partner was lying but he didn't wish to press any further, in case it ended up making matters even more worst. 

"Everyone is leaving now."

"What?! But we've barely rested!" Yamato exclaimed, his temper rising again.

"Taichi said it was best if we all moved on."

Yamato sighed in annoyance. "Sometimes I think that's all he cares about. Moving on."

"Well I guess we will have to since he's the leader." Replied Tsunomon, slightly regretting what he had said."

Yamato snorted. "He is not the leader in my eyes."

"Maybe you could settle your differences and try to get along." The little Digimon suggested quietly.

"How can I get on with someone I despise?!" he yelled back angrily. 

Tsunomon backed away slightly, his eyes filled with sorrow and regret. "Gomean nasai, Yamato."

Yamato's anger soon seized and was once again replaced with regret. "No Tsunomon, I'm the only who should be sorry. Taichi's not the one acting like a jerk, I am."

"Yamato…"

Trying his best to smile, he picked up Tsunomon and began patting him gently. "I'm sorry. It was my fault you became so worn out and tired earlier."

"What do you mean?"

"If I had paid more attention to you and weren't so wrapped up in myself all the time, we could have got to the river faster and you would have been alright." He replied sadly.

"But I am alright." The Digimon chirped back.

"No you're not. You got worn out so much that you De-digivolved back to your in-training form."

"Don't worry about it Yamato, After all I may be Tsunomon but in the inside I'm still me. Well Gabumon that is, and that will never change."

Yamato smiled. For a short second his pain vanished. "Arigatou, Tsunomon. For always being there for me."

The Digimon jumped up into his lap and smiled. "No problem."

"Yamato!" There was a voice in the distance. Both Yamato and Tsunomon turned around to see the red headed girl Sora run towards them. "Ya..mat…to" she gasped out of breath.

"What is it?"

"You better hurry up. The others are just about to leave." She finally replied once she had caught her breath.

And I bet they'd probably leave without me if they had a choice.

"Yeah I know. I'm just coming."

"Yamato could you maybe uh-" she started but stopped, looking slightly embarrassed.

"What Sora? What is it?"

"It's well about you and Taichi."

"Oh." He replied sourly.

"I know you two don't get along very well, but for the sake of the team could you just please try to get along?" 

"So now you're pushing all the blame on me?" Snorted Yamato hoarsely.

"No Yamato, that's not what I'm saying. I just think the BOTH of you could make the effort to at least work together."

"I am making an effort. It's not my fault he's such a jerk!"

"Taichi is not a jerk!"

The blonde turned away. It was obvious that she could never understand. Her cheeks turned red slightly embarrassed from yelling. "I'm sorry Yamato. I didn't mean it like that. I'm just afraid that if everyone starts fighting then…then the Digital world will be doomed. Including our world."

Sighing, Yamato felt the need to apologise to her. "Look Sora, I'm sorry too. I've just…"

"What?"

"Nothing forget it." He said, turning away from her.

The red head frowned. She always felt that Yamato kept to many things to himself. If he continued life like this when he was older, it would only make life more difficult.

"Please tell me."

"I said forget it, okay!"

"Does it have something to do with Takeru. Is it because Puppetmon captured him?"

Although it had only happened a few days ago, he felt like the memory had been haunting him his old life. He let Puppetmon capture his only brother and he was helpless to do anything to save him. He could have been hurt, abused, or ever worst, dead. The thought made him shiver all over. He felt so worthless, not being able to save him. He had failed and he would never forgive himself for it. Even Takeru had admitted that he didn't need him anymore. The young boy's words cut though his soul deeply. 

__

I really am worthless….

"Yamato?"

He awoke partly stunned. Gently Sora placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Yamato please tell me what's wrong." She begged him.

"I told you nothing's wrong. Now will you just forget it!" he yelled. He couldn't stand when people started pressing their ways into other peoples business. He picked up Tsunomon in one arm and walked away. 

"You know Yamato, if you keep acting this way, you'll end up having no friends." Sora cried.

He snorted, not bothering to look back. "As if I give a damn."

She sighed. At time it seems that he could be just as stubborn as Taichi was. "I'll always be your friend Yamato." She whispered silently. "I just hope Taichi will."

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Authors Notes: Sorry that was very bad. I apologise for the poor grammar and spelling. If anyone wants me to, I'll post the next chapter.


	2. Sorrow

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Authors Notes: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. All of your reviews are very much appreciated. Sorry for the crapiness of this chapter. My grammar and spelling is very poor, so I apologise for the probably many spelling mistakes. 

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Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Please do not sue.

**__**

Hate before Love: Chapter two

The eight children headed into the deep never-ending forest. Yamato still choose to walk behind. He wasn't needed. He wasn't wanted. He was worthless and he knew it. After all why would the others need him around when they had their precious leader? Why would Takeru need him? Takeru still hadn't spoke do him since the incident earlier, and seeing his Otouto-san walking beside Taichi at the front of the group was enough to make Yamato's jealousy rise to its limits. But maybe it was better this way. After all, Taichi was very brave and courageous. He had the abilities to take care of Takeru. Yamato tried so hard to protect him, only to end up failing miserably. 

A voice told him to run, to run after away. There was no reason for him to stay. There was no reason even to be in The Digital world. There was no point for him even to exist….

"Alright everybody, I think we're near the crossing to the other side of the river. Just a little bit further." yelled Taichi.

"Can't we just stay here for tonight?" Jyou sighed reluctantly. "My feet are killing me."

"Yeah Taichi I'm a bit tired myself." Agreed Mimi.

"No we have to keep going. It's best if we get there before nightfall." Taichi answered, stubbornly. 

"Oh, but can't that wait until tomorrow?"

"No. Now stop complaining and start moving!" Both Mimi and Jyou sighed, and continued to drag along.

__

There he goes again, pushing everyone around. He should just-

Frowning Yamato stopped. His cold, dark eyes stared down on to the filthy pathway. _At least he makes the effort to help…._

Suddenly Yamato was awoken from his thoughts by aloud scream. Quickly he rushed towards were everyone else had gone, not realising how long he had spent apart. As he turned around a corner, he stopped instantly. A huge horrifying Digimon stood in front of Takeru and the others. To Yamato it seemed to be half dog, half-insect. A strange combination and nothing like Yamato had ever seen before. He looked around panicking. Tsunomon stood behind him. The poor little Digimon didn't stand a chance against the thing.

"Tsunomon what the hell is that thing?!" But before he could get an answer, the creature roared loudly. It sounded like one of the Tyrannosaurs-rexs he had seen on a movie a few years ago. Its eyes were focused on Taichi and the others, containing the look like it was ready to kill. It ran quickly towards them, about to attack. Yamato could hear loud cry's from the others as they all leapt out of the way. Everyone lay on the ground, hurt from the impact of the Digimon's attack.

"Takeru!" Yamato's eyes widened in shock. "Don't worry! Takeru I'm coming!" But Yamato was cut short as the large Digimon swept pass creating a gust of wind. Yamato was thrown out of the way. He wailed in pain as he hit his back of a tree. 

The creature's hideous growls were the only things that kept him from falling unconscious. Suddenly he was remembered of Takeru. What if he had been hurt by the gust also? "Takeru…" Using the little strength he had left, he forced his head up. He spotted Takeru lying near the others. He didn't seem to be hurt badly, but looked extremely frightened. Although Yamato was relieved that his Otouto-san was alright, sorrow wavered over him as he saw his Onii-chan crouched in the arms of his rival, tightly clinging on to the goggle boy's shirt. 

__

That should be me holding him, not Taichi. Yamato mentally slapped himself before his jealousy could grow any stronger. He couldn't believe how selfish he was being, he should be relieved that Takeru was all right, even if he was in his rival arms or not. Bright lights shone from were Takeru and the others stood. The Digimon were Digivolving.

"Nova blast!" The large blazing fireball spat out from the dinosaur's mouth towards the enemy. But Greymon was no match considering the creatures' great speed. It dodged the attacks with ease. It was at that point that Yamato was reminded of his own Digimon. "Tsunomon!" Frantically he looked around him. The little Digimon was lying near by, unconscious. _God damnit, not only can't I look after my little brother, now I can't even take responsibility for my own Digimon. _"Tsunomon!"

"Electro shocker!"

"Needle spray!"

"Meteor wing!"

"Harpoon torpedo!"

"Lightning claw!"

Yamato could hear the attacks of the others Digimon being called out as they went into battle. Taichi started shouting orders over all the commotion that was going on. 

Suddenly his vision started to go blurry, but before he could fade out, a loud scream was heard. The scream of an innocent child. Hikari had been hit…

**************************************************

Slowly he opened his eyes. His vision had become blurry making it difficult to make anything out. His head pounded and his bones ached with much pain. He wished he could just fall asleep again, to be free of the pain for just a little bit longer. But he couldn't. Something had happened, something bad.

"Yamato you're awake!"

Wearily he turned his head around. "Tsunonmon!" He smiled as the Digimon jumped into his arms.

He hugged the little Digimon tightly and told of how happy he was that Tsunomon was all right. "God, I'm so happy you're okay."

"I'm glad you're safe too."

He let go of the Digimon, as his expression turned to that of worry. "Takeru! Takeru, is he alright?!" 

"Yes, he got away alright. He's got a few bruises but nothing serious."

Yamato let out a sigh of relief. It felt like he had been holding his breath in forever, waiting for an answer. "Thank god." 

"Tsunomon what happened?"

The Digimon frowned. "We were attacked by a Digimon called Dokugaimon."

Yamato blinked, slightly confused. "Dokugaimon? Attacked? But-but why?"

"Dokugaimon is a very violent Digimon, and exists only to fight. To him he doesn't need a reason to attack."

"That bastard!" Yamato spat clinching his fists tightly together. "Did we win?"

"Yes, but it wasn't easy. Dokugaimon is one of the most deadliest Digimon in the whole Digital world!"

"What?! He can't be! Is he even stronger that the Darkmasters?!" 

"No he's far from that level of power, but inside his body is a deadly poison, so his defences are amazing. Digimon who fight against him and don't know of his poisonous attacks, usually wind up dead. They're deadly Digimon but very rare. That was the first time I had ever seen one."

"I bet the Dark masters had something to do with it!"

"Maybe…." 

"It didn't manage to poison anyone did it?" Yamato asked hopefully.

Tsunomon looked at the ground sadly and turned away from his partner.

Fear struck Yamato's heart. Someone had got hurt. "Tsunomon what-what happened?"

"Hikari got struck by its poison, and soon it is most likely that she shall die…"

"What?! Oh my god. Please no." Although he wasn't close to her, the thought of the sweet innocent child dying sickened him. Hikari was definitely wasn't someone who deserved such a cruel fate. The Child of Light was a powerful part the Digidestined, and without her they would surely be lost. His thoughts soon become focused on Hikari's brother. _Poor Taichi….._

Taichi was far to protective of Hikari, and in an instant Yamato came to the conclusion that Taichi would blame himself for Hikari's injury. 

"Tsunomon where is she?"

The Digimon motioned to the trees. There she lay, completely motionless. Yamato's back hurt like hell, but he forced himself up and walked behind the trees. His heart sank. She looked as if she were dead, so small and fragile. She was surrounded by all the other chosen children, minus Koushiro who was working away viciously on his laptop.

Yamato could see the tears running down Taichi's face, and realised this was the first time he had seen him cry in months. Guilt pierced the blonde's heart from the fight earlier. Although to him, he and Taichi were complete opposites, he could deeply relate to what he was going through. Takeru was his one and only reason for living, yet the younger boy clearly didn't need him anymore. But if something were ever to happen to him, he would never forgive himself. 

If it were Takeru in Hikari's place, he could see himself in a utterly hysterical state. It wasn't difficult to see that Taichi wanted to do the same thing, yet he held his priorities as the leader in high regard and tried his best not to show fear while around the others. With their leader in that state, the others would panic and be totally lost to themselves.

Frowning, Yamato turned to walk away, but Sora had stopped him and immediately made it clear to everyone of his presence. "Yamato!"

The small blond boy's eyes lit up instantly at the sight of his brother. "Yamato!" He quickly run towards the older boy and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you're okay too. Or are you? Are you hurt? Have you got many bruises?"

"Don't worry Onii-chan, Taichi took care of me." Yamato frowned, the jealously of Taichi becoming close with his brother angered him greatly. But it was wrong to be jealous, especially in this situation. The younger boy's face revealed sadness, and small drops of tears ran down his cheeks. "But Hikari got hurt and it's really bad."

"I know." He replied quietly, unsure of how to comfort him. 

"Is she going to die?" Takeru asked between sobs.

Yamato bit his lower lip. What could he say? Tsunomon seemed sure that she was going to die, but could he really tell his brother about it? He hated lying to his sibling, knowing that the younger boy deserved to know the truth just as much as anyone else. But he couldn't tell the truth this time. It was too hard, and would break Takeru's heart. "Don't worry she'll be alright. We'll find a way to help her get better." 

"The little boy's eyes lit up." Really?"

"Sure…"

"Yay!" He grabbed on to his Onii-chan's waist and hugged him tightly. Takeru smiled and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

"Yamato are you all right?" asked Sora, who had just arrived beside them.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Yamato replied, ignoring the red heads concern for him.

She smiled. "I'm glad." But as with Takeru's smile, it soon faded and was replaced with a frown. "Hikari, she-"

"I know." Yamato interrupted.

"Oh."

"Takeru." Spoke Yamato, turning to his younger brother. "Why don't you go back with the others?" Obediently he nodded and ran back over to join the other chosen.

"She's going to die, isn't she?" 

Sora tilted her head away. "We don't know yet. The Digimon don't think she will last much longer. Koushiro's searching on his laptop for any information of a cure. She's pretty bad right now and I don't…" Tears ran down her cheeks as she spoke.

"How is Taichi doing?" Yamato asked sympathetically.

Sora lifted her head. She was surprised by the blondes sudden concern over their leader, but then she reminded herself that Yamato was not as cold as he sometimes made himself out to be. Yamato had a heart, a very big one.

"He's not that good. He is taking it really bad, and who can blame him? I've known Taichi since we were little kids, and he has always been overprotective of Hikari-chan."

"So he blames himself?"  
She nodded. He walked past her and walked towards the brunette who was in a pitiful state. He was kneeling down beside his sister, his hands clamped over his face to shield away the tears. A hand was placed down on the child's forehead. He looked up to see Yamato looking at him sympathetically.

"I'm sorry Taichi."

"It's okay." He replied, washing away his tears. "It's not your fault."

"I'm sure she'll be all right."

Taichi rose to his feet, as did Yamato. Taichi stared deep into Yamato's eyes, a look of fury coming upon his face. "Maybe…." He turned and walked away. Now Yamato was confused. Why had Taichi stared at him like that? Like Taichi had said, it wasn't his fault for Hikari's accident. He sighed. The one time he was being nice to Taichi and he had stared at him like he had just killed someone. 

He walked over to a tree near by and leaned against it. Once again he was trying to stay away from the others. But the way Taichi had looked at him was caught in his thoughts and kept repeating itself over and over again. It sent a shiver down his spine. Even when he tried to be nice, nobody wanted him. Takeru could take care of himself and everyone else was to bust following Taichi's orders to realise he was even alive.

__

I wish I never came to the Digital world. I wish I didn't even exist…

"I've found something!" Yamato was awakened from his thoughts by Koushiro's cry. While the others crowded around the small red head to see what he had found, Yamato stayed were he was.

"What is it? What did you find, Koushiro?!" Taichi asked, demanding an answer.

"It was really difficult to find, but I finally managed to locate Dokugaimon's data file."

"Well hurry up and tell us then!" cried Mimi impatiently. 

"Dokugaimon, one of the deadliest Digimon. Half-canine, half-insect. It's known for its poisonous attacks and its peculiar appearance. It spits out poison from its back, onto its enemy in the form of a gooey sap. The sap then dissolves into the victim's pores and penetrates into the body. Once in the blood stream, its poisonous substances spread all over the body, slowing down and making the victim weak. It usually takes about forty-eight hours before the victim is fully effected. After the forty eight hours, the victim…." Koushiro turned to Taichi, looking sympathetic.

Tears filled Taichi's eyes as he stared at his sister's limb and lifeless form. Everyone knew what eventually happen, and it struck fear to all their hearts.

"There had to be a cure, Koushiro. Please say there's a cure." Pleaded Sora.

"I'm not sure, I'll have to check."

Everyone waited patiently as Koushiro continued to type on his computer. Yamato watched from a distance, his bones still aching, wishing desperately that there were a cure.

"Well?!" yelled Taichi angrily. 

"Hold on Taichi, just try to be patient a little longer." Koushiro replied, not once glancing away from his laptop.

"How the hell can I be patient?! My little sister is dying for fucksake!"

Everyone stared at Taichi. Each scared that he would lose his temper again.

"I'm sorry Taichi. I didn't mean to-"

"Just…just keep searching." The red head nodded and went back to his research. 

Everyone stayed silent, each wishing they could say or do something to make everything all better again. But life was never that simple.

A few minutes later, Koushiro finally spoke. ""I think I might have found something that might help." Everyone crouched down, around the small pineapple laptop. Koushiro pointed out a peculiar purple plant, with strange black stripes around it. "It's an ancient healing herb and like Dokugaimon, it's really rare. It is known to heal many different poisons. Its name isn't exactly known considering that they were used centuries ago. In fact they were thought to have all dyed out until someone discovered one growing up a mountain ten years ago."

"So are you saying that this plant can heal Hikari?" asked Taichi, hopefully.

Koushrio nodded. "That's what it says here."

"Where can we find it?"

"Oh no…"

"What is it Koushiro?" asked Mimi, worriedly. 

"The nearest place to get them, is up a really dangerous mountain, one of the highest in this part of the Digital world. Plus it's miles away."

"Where is this mountain?" demanded Taichi. 

"I imagine it would be in that direction." replied Koushiro pointing back towards the trees. The same way the river leads."

"I'm going. Come on Agumon." stated Taichi as he started to walk away.

"What?! Taichi you can't, it's too dangerous! Besides, you'd never make it up there alive!"

The brunette snorted. "You think one little mountain is going to stop me from saving my sisters life."

"Please Taichi, Koushiro is right, it's way to dangerous." cried Sora. "There's got to be a safer way." She turned back to Koushiro. "Koushiro?"

The younger boy shook his head. "I'm afraid not. You may be able to get the plants in other places, but you'd never make it back in forty-eight hours. Sorry."

"Please Taichi just -"

"Be quiet Sora. Nothing you say or do will prevent me from going to that mountain. I have a chance to save my sister before it's to late, and I'm not going to put safety before her life. It's my fault she got hurt in the first place. I love her to much to sit around to nothing, waiting for her to die."

"Taichi…"

"Agumon are you with me?" Taichi asked, turning to his partner.

"Of course!"

"Then let's go!"

"Then I'll go too!" cried Sora. "If you can risk your own life to safe Hikari, then so can i. I care about her too."

"No." Taichi replied, not bothering to face her.

"But -"

Slowly he approached the red head and gently too hold of her hand. "Sora, Hikari looks up to you a lot. You've always been there for her, for everybody. I know how much she misses our parents, but you've always been there to make her feel better. I guess she kinda sees you a mother figure."

She blushed. "She does?"

Taichi smiled. "Yeah she does. And if she wakes up, I want you to be there to comfort her. I know you can make her feel better."

Sora nodded. "I'll do it. But I don't think you should go alone, Taichi."

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." He replied calmly.

"It's dangerous and what if you ran into one of the dark masters. Then what will you do?"

"I'll get Agumon to Digivolve to Wargreymon. Together Agumon and I will kick their sorry little asses!" 

"Yeah, leave it to me!" cried Agumon proudly. 

Sora frowned, still uneasy about the situation. "Couldn't Jyou or Koushiro go?"

"He sighed. "Jyou's the closest thing we have to a doctor. I need him to stay here and take care of Hikari. And I want Koushiro to stay here and keep gathering information on Dokugaimon, just in case I don't make it back in time. If I don't get back, then I'm counting on him to find another cure."

Sora sighed, giving in. "Alright, but be careful."

"I'll go!" Takeru cried out. "I wanna go help Hikari-chan!"

"No Takeru, you're t little."

"That's not fair, Taichi. I'm old enough to take care of myself. Please let me help."

"Takeru please try to -"

"I'll go..." stated an unheard voice.

****

Authors Notes: Sorry for the last line, I couldn't really think of a better way to put the sentence. Well I suppose you can guess who that is. ^_^ I hope that chapter wasn't too bad. I'll post the next part if anyone thinks I should continue.


	3. Struggles

****

Authors Notes: I'm really sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. *Bows apologetically* I have lots of exams coming up and with the extra increase on homework, I don't really have much time to write stories then type them up. But of course I'll try to get chapters uploaded as soon as possible. *sighs* Exams are evil. So are teachers. Damn them for giving me so much homework.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed it's appreciated very much. I hope this chapter will be okay. 

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Please do not sue.

****

Hate before love: Chapter three 

Everyone gazed at the golden haired boy in alarm.

"Ya-Yamato…" Taichi stared deep into his deep blue eyes. It almost seemed like Yamato had placed barriers upon each layer to prevent anyone from coming close to reading his thoughts. He always kept to himself. He hated showing emotion to anyone. And this time was no different. 

"You-you'll go with me?"

"Yeah, well I know how much you care about your sister, and I don't really want to see her die either."

Taichi frowned slightly. "Maybe it would be best if you just stayed here."

The blonde boy snorted. "Fine, if you don't want my help."

"Come on Taichi, let Yamato go. It will be much safer, plus if you ran into any of the Dark masters, it would be easier to fight." Stated Sora.

"No offence, but I'd rather go myself." He answered stubbornly.

Sora frowned. "Taichi…"

"Show's how much you care about your sister." Yamato stated coldly. "You and I both know that with two mega Digimon, we can get there faster. But if you want to risk your sisters life just cause you don't want my company…."

"What the hell did you say?!" Angrily Taichi grabbed hold of Yamato's collar, raising his fist. "You better take that back or I swear to God that I'll kill you."

"Go ahead, see if I care." Yamato replied coldly.

"Taichi wait!" cried Sora, trying to release Taichi's grip of Yamato. 

"Yamato's right. We don't even know if Hikari will last forty eight hours." Stated Jyou as he tended to Hikari's high temperature.

Giving a loud sigh, Taichi dropped Yamato, feeling partly ashamed for his behaviour. He wasn't used to the lone wolf helping out much. He was worried that if he and Yamato got into an argument, that they would be wasting time, while innocent Hikari's fate rested in their hands. "You're right. Gomen, Yamato. You can come."

The blond boy got up and stared into Taichi's brown eyes. "I'm doing this for Hikari. Not you…"

Taichi nodded. "I know."

"Oniisan, I want to go too!" cried Takeru. 

"You can't Takeru, it's too dangerous." Yamato quickly stated to his younger sibling. 

The younger boy frowned. It angered him that even though Hikari was the same age as him, the others still treated him as the baby of the group. "If you can go, I should too!"

Yamato sighed. "Look, Takeru, I said no."

Tears filled eyes. "You don't want me around! You think that I just get in the way!"

Yamato was overcome with shock from his brother's words. Takeru thought that he didn't want him around? Yamato loved his brother so much. He wanted Takeru to be safe, and wanted to protect the younger boy from any form of pain that stood in the way.

__

Takeru, Taichi, Sora… They don't need me around anymore. Most of the time, nobody even notices that I am there. I hate this feeling. I hate it so much. No matter how much I deny it, the feeling of being ignored hurts me. And now I have done it do my own brother….

"Takeru…"

"All I want to do is help." He replied, wiping away his tears.

Yamato tried his best to put on a smile. He bent down and grasped Takeru, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to make you feel this way. You're my little brother. I love you very much, and I do enjoy being with you, I just don't want to see you getting hurt."

Slowly Takeru pulled away from Yamato. He gazed deeply into his brother's eyes, and unlike when Taichi had looked into them, they were bursting with emotion. "I know you want to protect me, but I've grown up a lot since we came to the Digital world. I've learned a lot about taking care of myself, and remember Patamon's here to protect me, too"

Yamato's heart faded, realising that Takeru no longer needed him. The little boy that had once been stereotyped as a cry-baby, had grown up so much. He had changed for the better. And because of this, Takeru no longer needed him. Yamato was the one that need him…

"Well can I come?" The younger boy asked again, hopefully.

"Hikari needs you here."

"But-"

"Just think of how sad Hikari is going to be when she wakes up and finds out that he big brother and best friend aren't there. Taichi has to go, but you can stay here and make her feel better. And if an evil Digimon attacks, you can stay here and protect Hikari and the others."

The young boys smile transformed into a small smile. He nodded slowly. "Okay, Oniisan, Hikari needs me, so I'll stay here and try my best to protect her."

"That's my boy." Replied Yamato, teasing the younger boy by ruffling his hair with his hand.

Yamato turned to Tsunomon, signalling for him to Digivolve. "You, ready?"

"Yeah. Tsunomon Digivolve to Gabumon!" The little Digimon transformed back into his Rookie form of Gabumon.

"Feeling any better?"

"Sure am." Replied the dog-like creature. "Now let's go, we need that herb for Hikari, and fast!"

Yamato nodded and turned back around to Taichi. "Taichi?" 

The brunette wasn't listening. He knelt down beside his younger sister. Softly he placed his hand on her burning forehead, and used his other hand to run his fingers through her hair. She had been unconscious for hours now. He prayed to the Gods that she would wake up soon, and just return to normal. Unfortunately, the world didn't work that way, not even the Digital world.

"Don't worry, Hikari. I'll get you that medicine. You'll get better, I promise. I love you so much." His tears fell softly on to her cheeks. "I'm-I'm so sorry… I promise I'll be back soon. I'll get you that medicine no matter what." 

Slowly he forced himself up, turning away from his sister. "Agumon, let's go."

The Digimon nodded and began to Digivolve. "Agumon warp Digivolve to….Wargreymon!"

"We'd better hurry up and get a move on." Spoke the large dinosaur like Digimon.

Taichi seemed very confident that they would find the herb on time, yet on the inside Yamato was sure the brunette thought differently. Yamato hugged Takeru good bye and joined Taichi who was looking at Koushiro's laptop to ensure he remembered what plant he was to take.

"Remember that it's this plant that you have to find." Stated Koushiro, pointing towards the computer screen.

"Shouldn't be hard to find considering I've never seen anything like it before." Taichi replied. "Hey Yamato, are we going, or what?" Yamato nodded and followed the brunette towards Wargreymon. Along with Gabumon, he climbed on the large creature's back.

"Take good care of Hikari, will you Sora?" Taichi queried.

The redhead nodded. "Don't worry Taichi, I'll take good care of Hikari-chan." She cried as Wargreymon started to take off.

Yamato couldn't help but smile at his brother's kindness. He was so sweet, friendly, caring, everything he was not…

The other chosen children yelled out as Wargreymon flew away, telling them to be careful and to do their best. The large Digimon bolted fiercely through the sky. Yamato was amazed that the pressure from such a speed hadn't thrown him off yet. He held tightly on to Gabumon, gazing at Taichi who sat further up front. No matter what the brunette said or did, he was going to try his absolute best no to get into a fight with him, after all, Hikari's life depended on them. 

__

Taichi please don't make me get mad. I only want to help….

*******************************************

Wargreymon had been following the wining river for what seemed like hours now. It was obvious that the dinosaur was tired, but Taichi wasn't so keen on letting him rest with his sister's life on the line. 

"Taichi, do you want Gabumon to Digivolve into Metalgarurumon to give Wargreymon a rest?" Asked Yamato, trying to be helpful.

"Wargreymon can handle it, we don't need your help." Tiachi stated coolly, not even bothering to look around. 

Yamato frowned. God, why did he have to be so stubborn?

"Yamato, should I warp Digivolve into Metagarurumon?" The dog-like creature asked quietly.

The blond snorted. "No, goggle boy over there thinks he can handle it all by himself."

Taichi turned around, angry about the other boy's remark. "I wasn't the one who asked you to come, you know. So why don't you just but out!"

"Well, you know-" Suddenly he stopped, remembering what he had promised himself from earlier.

"Well? What?!" the brunette demanded.

Sighing he turned away. "Nothing, just forget it."

"Fine."

__

Man, this is going to be harder than I thought. All I want to do is help, and he treats me like shit. Usually he's busting his ass off trying to give the others orders, but when it comes to me…. He doesn't even care if I'm dead or alive.

Yamato suddenly realised just how hungry he was. He, neither Gabumon hadn't eaten in hours. Sighing, he lay his head back and curled up into a little ball. Night had finally arrived, and the stars shone brightly in the sky. 

__

It's beautiful.

Usually he never looked at things just for their beauty, but he could never resist the black glittering quilt of sky at night. He had spent many nights after his parent's divorce, just gazing at it. He found that by doing this, he could distract the feelings of loneliness that were eating away at his heart. He desperately missed taking care of his younger brother. It had never occurred to him, that one day Takeru would no longer need him. This had come all too soon, and knowing the truth had broken his heart. 

He yearned so deeply to play his harmonica, it would help release his stress. Music seemed to be the only way he could truly express his feelings. But if he started play, Taichi would probably get mad and start shouting at him. He didn't wish to get into another fight with the brunette, not right now. Slowly he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. 

**********************************************

Hours later, Yamato could feel someone nudging at his arm, but he was so tired and the temptation to go back to sleep was so appealing. Suddenly he remembered his current situation and quickly got up.

"I think we're nearly there, Yamato." Stated Gabumon, the one who had been nudging him.

"About time." The blond replied, stretching his arms out and yawning. He crawled over to Taichi and stopped behind him. A look of shock was plastered upon Taichi's face. 

Yamato blinked. "What's the-" He stopped, catching sight of what Taichi was so shocked at. "God, it's huge!" The mountain was enormous, the top seemed completely unreachable! 

"Huge or not, I'm still going!" exclaimed Taichi.

"I know." Yamato replied. And it was true, he did know. Taichi would do anything for his little sister, something he had learned about the brunette along time ago. After all, he would do the same for Takeru. Wargreymon flew down and stopped on a large pathway. After Taichi, Yamato and Gabumon got off, Wargreymon De-digivolved back into his rookie form of Agumon. The little reptile Digimon sighed, and instantly sat down. "Phew. That was a long trip."

"Come on, get up. We don't have the time to rest. We've got to find that plant." Taichi urged.

"Come on Taichi, you can't really be serious?" sighed Yamato. "Don't you think he deserves a little rest? He's been flying for hours."

Taichi chose to ignore this and continued to urge his Digimon to get up. "Come on Agumon, please get up. Hkari's life is depending on us!"

"You know if you had just let Metalgarurumon take over flying for a little while earlier, Agumon wouldn't feel so tired." Stated Yamato.

"Butt out and mind your own goddamn business!" Taichi yelled angrily.

Yamato sighed yet again and turned to walk away. "Fine, sorry for trying to help you safe your little sister's life."

Taichi frowned slightly as he watched Yamato walk away. "Well maybe we could rest for a little while."

"Sorry Taichi." Replied Agumon, sadly.

"It's okay, just try to get some sleep. We need to find that herb and fast."

"Right, Taichi."

Within a few minutes, the Digimon had fallen asleep. Taichi on the other hand was in no mood to go to sleep. Unable to get his sister's limb and frail body out of his mind, he started to make a fire. Quietly he began to rub two sticks together in order to create a flame. Usually he would just have Agumon start a fire with his pepper breath attack, but he didn't want to disturb the slumbering Digimon right now. 

Taichi gazed at the crackling fire, dazzling with a mixture of reds and oranges. "God, please let her be alright. Please don't have me break that promise…"

A familiar sound filled his ears, and instantly he awoke for his haunting thoughts. It was Yamato playing his harmonica. Although he wasn't close to Yamato or anything, he still knew him well enough to know that when something was bothering him, he turned to the small instrument for relief. Often the blond boy would disappear into the forest at night for hours, just so he could play it. 

Slowly Taichi got up and began to follow the faint sound of music, which soon led him to Yamato. Quickly he hid behind a giant rock so he wouldn't be seen. _He's good._

Half an hour pasted and Taichi was still situated behind the rock, listening to Yamato play. Okay, it didn't create the most beautiful sound in the world, but he still liked to listen to Yamato play. He closed his eyes and leaned against the rock. As he let his body drift down, his foot skidded upon a stone, making him tumble over. "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!"

"Who's there?" Yamato demanded, grabbing a stick for protection.

"Relax, it's just me." Spoke Taichi in embarrassment as he came out from behind the rock.

Yamato sighed in relief. "Sorry, I thought it might have been an evil Digimon or something. What were you doing behind that rock anyway?"

The brunette sweatdropped. "Um, nothing really. I was just listening to you play the harmonica. You're pretty good."

The blond shrugged. "It's not too hard to play."

"So have you being playing long?" Taichi asked, curiously.

"A few years now. My dad gave it to me when I was little, just after he and my mum got divorced. He thought it would be good if I played it when I got lonely, so I'd have something else to focus my feelings on besides the divorce. We were kinda short on money after the divorce, or he would have got me something else. I guess after awhile, he forgot about buying me a new instrument. I've gotten used to this anyway."

"Yeah I always heard that music was a good way to get your feelings out. So, are you lonely right now?"

"No." Yamato replied instantly. 

There was a long silence, and all that could be heard was the faint sound of wind blowing in the distance. 

"Yamato, how come you always play depressing songs? I mean out of every time I've heard you play, the songs are all sad. Why don't you try and play something a bit more jazzier or happier or something?" voiced Taichi.

The blue eyed boy sighed and turned his head away. "I play what I feel."

Taichi frowned. "Does that mean you're never happy?"

Yamato stood up and put the small instrument back in his pocket. "Look Taichi, it doesn't matter what I fell, okay. It doesn't matter what I feel…"

"But-"

"Look you'd better get some sleep or you won't have enough strength to search for Hikari's medicine."

The brunette nodded. "Yeah I guess, you're right. Goodnight Yamato."

Yamato gazed up sadly, watching the other boy leave. "Good night, Taichi-san…" he whispered. He took his harmonica back out of his pocket and stared at it. He ran his finger across the smooth sliver edge, debating whether to play again or not. He frowned and put it away. He lay his head down on the ground, tightly wrapping his arms around his body. 

__

Why? Why do I feel like this…?

**************************************

Not surprisingly, Taichi had only let Yamato and the Digimon rest for a few short hours before waking them up to continue searching. The mountain seemed even larger than before as they pushed up the long winding mountain slope. Yamato along with Gabumon, walked a little bit behind Taichi and Agumon. Taichi was a lot fitter considering he played many sports including his favourite, soccer. Yamato on the other hand hated playing sports, so climbing up the mountain proved to be more difficult for him.

_Man, I think I'm turning into Mimi._ He looked up, realising how much further ahead, Taichi was. He agreed that both he and Gabumon should hurry up. 

Suddenly he remembered what Taichi had asked him the night before. A frown set upon his lips. _Does that mean you're never happy? _

This was a question Yamato wasn't even sure how to approach, never mind fully answer. He was sure he wasn't sad all the time. But now things seemed different… Takeru no longer needed him anymore, leaving him without a purpose. Plus, it didn't seem like anyone wanted him around in the first place. Taichi hated his guts, and all he seemed to do was cause everyone pain, anyway. 

__

Once Taichi and I find that herb, will the others even need me? Will they even want me around? Maybe I should just leave. Gabumon's a lot better without me, and Takeru doesn't even need me to take care of him anymore. God, I'm so pathetic. I've finally made a decision. I'm-

"Hey Yamato, hurry up!" yelled Taichi.

Sighing, he picked up the speed and began running to catch up with the other boy. _There you go again, Ishida. Holding everybody back as usual. _When he finally reached Taichi he quickly stopped to catch his breath.

"Don't tell me you're tired already." Wondered Taichi, while staring through the landscape with his mini telescope.

"Not everyone is as fit as you, you know." Gasped Yamato, still trying to regain his breath.

"Yep. That's why I have the advantage."

Yamato rolled his eyes. Taichi could be very full of himself at times. His over confidence about plans tended to annoy Yamato, usually leading to arguments between the two boys. "So, do you see anything?" he asked getting back up on his feet.

"Rocks, rocks, rocks. And hey guess what? More rocks!" replied Taichi in disappointment. "Damnit I can't see any plants anywhere!" 

"Knowing our luck, they'll probably be at the very top of the mountain." Stated Yamato, his pessimistic attitude kicking in.

"Then that's were we'll go!"

Their search continued on and there was no sign of the plant anywhere. Taichi had taken Yamato's advice and decided to climb to the top of the mountain, and that was a very long way to go. Finding a dead end in one of the pathways, they decided to test their luck by climbing, which proved to be more difficult than expected. 

"Agumon, just how much to you weight?!" cried Taichi pushing the Digimon up the cliff, over his head.

"I don't way that much!" The Digimon retorted in his defence. 

"Really? Wanna bet? You've definitely put some weight on. I can't remember you ever being this heavy before."

"Maybe you've just gotten weaker!"

"Wonder if they have any weight watcher courses in the Digital world?" Suddenly Taichi lost his balance. The rocks below his foot cracked, throwing him downwards. 

"Taichi!" Before he could fall to unfaithful death, a hand gripped hold of his leg. Slowly he opened his eyes and gazed up. 

"Ya-Yamto…" 

Quickly the blond haired boy pulled him up on to Garurumon. "Oh my god, Taichi are you alright?" 

"Yeah. I-I'm fine." He replied, shaking slightly from the near death experience.

"Thanks for breaking my fall, Garurmon." Said Agumon, seeing that he had luckily fallen onto Garurumon's back.

Taichi gave Yamato a nervous smile. "Hey, um thanks. You saved my life."

Strangely Yamato felt a blush rise upon his cheeks. "Umm…no problem." Taichi stared at the other boy curiously. Oh no, could he see that his face was turning red? "Uh, Taichi we'd better get going." 

"Oh!" cried Taichi, acting like he had just awoken from a daydream. "Yeah, lets get going."

Garurumon leapt from rock to rock with ease, his slender figure making him fast and well balanced. 

"You'd better stop here, Garurumon." Spoke Yamato, once they had reached the other pathway.

"Shouldn't we keep going?" asked Agumon, curiously.

"The rocks look really dangerous up there." Replied Yamato, pointing up towards them. "If they were to fall while we were climbing, we'd all be crushed to death."

"Yeah, and then there would be no chance of saving Hikari." added Taichi.

"I guess it would be a pretty long drop."

"We'll find another way up. " Taichi reassured his Digimon. Quickly he dove off of the wolf-like creature. When everyone was off his back, and on the ledge. Garurumon De-digivolved back into Gabumon.

"Why did you De-digivolve?" asked Taichi, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, but I just don't have the strength to stay in my Champion form any longer." Gabumon stated sadly.

"It's not his fault Taichi. We both know that the Digimon can't Digivolve when they're hungry." Said Yamato in his Digimon's defence.

"Now that you mention it, I am a little hungry myself." Added Agumon.

"But we have to keep on searching for that plant." The brunette urged desperately.

"What we need is to get the Digimon some food. It'll be easier to climb up this mountain if they can both evolve. If they collapse while walking, that will just take even more time from finding Hikari's antidote." Stated Yamato.

Taichi nodded, trying his best to hide the frown that was forming.

"Gabumon and I are going to go find something to eat. We'll bring something back for you and Agumon." Cried Yamato as he walked off with his partner.

Giving a soft sigh, Taichi sulked down beside a tree. He was the one calling Yamato heartless, yet Yamato was the one who could tell when people needed help. 

__

Yesterday, it wasn't Yamato who needed to take a rest, it was Gabumon all along. Maybe I do work everyone too hard. The memory of Jyou yelling at him because Gommamon needed some water came back to him. _If we hadn't of got Gommamon to water, something terrible might of happened to him… _

Great sadness came over him as Yamato once again circled his mind, refusing to leave. _A lot of Digimon have sacrificed themselves for us in the past. Wizardmon, Whamon, Chuumon, Pixiemon… And you act like you don't even care what the done for you! Mimi was showing her respect for what they had done for us and all you do is yell at her! Don't you realise if it wasn't for them we'd all be dead! _

Tears filled his eyes as he thought about those horrible words. How could he have been so cruel to her? People always said he was to busy looking ahead for the future that he always forgot everything that happened in the past. Yet the past played a very important role in each and very persons life. It symbolises how people change and grow from when they are younger, so that they learn from past experiences. But Taichi hadn't seemed to have grown or changed at all…

. _I'm so sorry! I'm just an inconsiderate bastard! Without all of you on our side, we would have never been able to get this far. Wizardmon, I especially thank you. You jumped in the way of Myotismon's attacks and sacrificed yourself to save Hikari. Without you, she would have been killed… And now she might die for real, and it's all my fault…_

"Taichi?"

Instantly Taichi turned away and wiped his tears away at the hearing of his partner's voice. 

"Are you alright?" asked Agumon.

"Yeah, of course I am." He replied, trying to put on a fake smile, without much luck. _How the hell am I supposed to smile in a time like this?_

Agumon nodded even though he didn't quite believe his partner's words. Quickly he tried to change the subject. "I can't wait to get something to eat. How about you?"

The brunette shrugged. "I guess."

The reptile like Digimon frowned. " Tai, aren't you hungry?"

"No- Well, yeah. A little, I guess. But it doesn't seem right to sit here and eat while my sister is lying waiting to die. I should be out searching, not wasting time."

"Yamato is right though. We need to eat to get our strength back, or it will take us forever to find that plant, and of course forever is to late."

"Maybe Yamato's right." _He probably is. Yamato seems to be right about everything lately. I bet he would make a better leader than I can ever me. But even though he's right about us having to regain our strength, I still think I should be out there looking for that herb. The others don't need to come. After all, they have the right to rest. But I don't. Hikari's my little sister and I swear I won't let her die. It almost happened once before, and I won't let it happen again. I bet Yamato would still argue with me. Say that I should wait on him and the Digimon. God, why does he have to butt into everybody's busy?! He's so annoying! I hate him! _

Slowly he sat down and covered his face in his arms. But if I hate him…why was I thinking about him differently last night when I was trying to get to sleep? Could it be that I have feelings for him? No, it couldn't be. It's impossible…


	4. Confusion

****

Authors Notes: Here's the next chapter. It never took me as long to post this time, thankfully. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing, it's appreciated very much. Arigatou gozaimasu! ^_^

I hope this chapter is okay.

****

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Please do not sue. 

****

Hate before Love: Chapter four

The golden haired boy walked further and further away from his Digimon companion. Lost in the deep reaches of his thoughts, he had no idea to where he was going. He was supposed to be finding the plant for Hikari, but it's where-abouts for the moment was unknown. This mountain he was on was extremely dangerous seeing that Taichi had almost fallen off and got killed. Groaning, he tried to shake the horrible thought off. How would he have reacted if Taichi had fallen off the cliff? Would he be happy? Happy that the person in his own mind that he claimed to hate most was dead? 

No, not even he was that cold. 

The thought frightened him. Not just the thought of Taichi dying but the thought of saving him as well... 

In the past, he had saved him many times, the same with Taichi to him. But now all of a sudden it seemed different. This time it wasn't a Digimon who threatened to destroy Taichi's life but a normal circumstance that could have easily have happened in the real world.

Strangely this made Yamato more aware of the dangers of dying. He tried not to think about death much, although the subject had played upon his mind a couple of times. Sometimes he convinced himself he wasn't afraid of death, sometimes he made himself believe that he was. Mostly he believed that it was normal human consciousness that made him feel this way. No human knew what happened after death. The theories of life and death have being subject of much discussion since probably the beginning of history.

When he first came to the Digital world he was afraid. The thought of being transported to a whole New World seemed impossible. Only could such a thing happen in books, television and our own imagination. Even though he was scared, he put his little brother's emotions before his own. Takeru was only eight years old. Although the youngster was happy to spend so much time with his brother, he missed his mother. When they had first came to summer camp, he had cried a lot, leaving it up to Yamato to comfort him. When he was first transported to the Digital world, he had cried even more. But unlike the rest of the children, Takeru was able to take the fact that they had really been transported to a different reality. 

The life of a young child almost seemed tempting, for when one is at a young age, they don't' need to accept reality. Their imaginations run freely, and to them almost anything is possible. Although such a questioning theory had just come to him, Yamato could not remember being like this as a child. Even when he did live with his parents he was different. It almost seemed that since birth, he was truly emotionally detached from the world. Takeru was his only reason for living, and the younger boy had already been taken away from him once before. And sadly, now it was happening again. 

__

Fuck life…

Letting a huge sigh escape, he began to wonder whether this world was better than the one he had back in the real world. Probably not, both were hell to him. Yet, just now this world seemed to be taking the lead. Ever since Hikari had got poisoned, a strange and frightening feeling at came over him. And the root of the problem just happened to be Taichi. He let out a huge sigh of annoyance and continued to walk further and further away.

__

Thank you Yamato. You saved my life…

Why? Why had he blushed? Why couldn't he have just replied 'whatever' as usual? It's what he always said when he wanted to hide his emotions. Why hadn't he of done it? Mentally he scolded himself, remembering the strange look Taichi had gave him after he blushed. Why was he thinking like this? In the past he had convinced himself that he hated Taichi, and now he was acting like he had -

__

Goddamnit, get a hold of yourself, Ishida! If Taichi had any idea that you were thinking like then he would smash your face right in! And if I don't-" 

Suddenly Yamato felt the ground fade below him, realising that he had just walked straight off the edge of the cliff. "Ahhhhhh!" Quickly he managed to grab on to a small branch preventing him from falling to a bloody death. "Shit!"

"Yamato?!" Instantly Gabumon dropped the fruit and berries he was carrying and rushed to his partner's aid. Slowly the branch started to break away from the cliff with Yamato's weight. The dog-like creature jumped to the edge digging his claws into Yamato's hand to make sure he had a good grip of him. Yamato cried out in pain as the claws fiercely dug into his flesh. Using all of his strength, Gabumon was able to pull his partner up. "Yamato are you alright?" asked Gabumon in great concern. 

"I-I think so." The boy managed to stutter, almost completely out of breath. 

"I'm sorry, Yamato." The Digimon stated sadly.

Yamato gazed at his partner in confusion. The Digimon had just saved his life, why the hell was he sorry? Suddenly he traced Gabumon's eyes towards his hand. It was bleeding. _I guess I was so startled by the fall that I forgot all about it. _"Gabumon don't be sorry! You just saved my life."

"But still…."

"Gabumon don't be stupid, it's only a little cut, it'll heal sooner or later." The Digimon conjured up small smile. Yamato gave his partner a caring smile and tightly he hugged him. "Thanks Gabumon. Hey, and don't bother saying sorry." Chuckled Yamato, well aware of Gabumon's intentions.

"I suppose we better head back to Taichi and Agumon, and give them some of the food we gathered."

Suddenly Yamato went silent. _Taichi…_

Gabumon gave a small frown. "Yamato is something wrong?" 

"Huh? No, um nothing's wrong…" the blond boy replied, coming out his thoughts.

"Anything I can do to help?"

__

No one can help me.

"No I'm fine." Gabumon was not dense; he could easily tell when something was bothering his partner. He had known Yamato for so long now, yet sometimes he felt that he barely knew him at all. The boy was always so distant. Didn't Yamato realise that he would never judge him? He wanted to help him. He wanted to help him, more than anything in the entire world, but Yamato never did give him such a chance. He did this to everyone, always hiding his true his emotions. But no matter what, Gabumon always felt that it hurt him the most. Perhaps the pair would never be as close as he had first hoped. Maybe everything he did to try and help his partner was pointless. Yet, still he would try to reach out to his partner, before the boy cracked. 

He would be there no matter what. 

"We'd better hurry up and get back to Agumon and Taichi. I imagine Taichi would want us to hurry up."

"Yeah. I guess." Quickly, the blond boy helped his partner pick up the food and then started walking back.

Yamato gazed at Gabumon sadly. He felt somewhat guilty for not telling him the truth. He wanted to, it was just…

He let out a small sigh. He doubted that Gabumon had any expert advice in the partner. It was pointless. Maybe when he got back with the other chosen, he could ask Sora about it…

Mentally he slapped himself for even thinking such a thing. She would probably think he was a weird demented freak or something. Taichi was one of her very best friends and if she was to tell him that he like him then….

A shiver ran up his spine. He didn't even want to think about what would happen. Taichi would go crazy at him and kick his ass so much that he wouldn't ever be able to walk again. But then again, knowing how strong Taichi was, he would probably do a lot worst. Truthfully, Yamato wouldn't blame him if the brunette were to do such a thing. 

__

Why couldn't I have just fallen off the mountain? 

************************************

"We're back!" cried Gabumon, signalling their return.

Instantly Agumon got up and rushed towards them. "Finally, I thought you'd never get back. Where's the food?" He yelled impatiently.

Slowly Taichi gazed up until his gaze met Yamato's, who was already staring at the brunette. Quickly they turned way realising that they were both staring at each other. The blond boy sighed and went over and sat across from Taichi, resting his back against a rock. Unlike Gabumon and Agumon who had already started feasting away on the food, he had strangely lost his appetite. 

"You'd best eat something Yamato." spoke Taichi, slightly nervous. "If we want to find that plant, then we'll need all our strength."

Deciding that it was best not to argue, Yamato picked up a piece of fruit. As he started nibbling on it slowly, he suddenly noticed that Taichi was gazing in the other direction. He stopped eating, and instead stared at the apple-like fruit. Why had Taichi suggested that he eat? Was it because he was concerned about him? Could it be that Taichi actually thought he was an okay person?

No… It wasn't anything of these things. Yamato refused to believe it. Taichi had probably suggested it again because of his little sister. If he were tired and weak, he would just be keeping Taichi back from finding the medicine for his sister. That was the reason why the brunette had wanted him to eat, so he could keep up his strength. He let out a sigh and dropped the fruit. _This is pointless…._

"What's wrong?" came Taichi's voice, holding a small tone of concern.

Yamato bit his lower lip and titled his head in the other direction. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

The brunette shrugged and went back to eating. "You can't be sad about nothing all the time." He stated with his mouth full of food. A few moments pasted, and yet again there was silence. As usual, this made Yamato feel extremely uncomfortable. He turned back around and picked up the fruit he had dropped. As he was about to put it in his mouth, he suddenly noticed the serious look plastered upon Taichi's face. He frowned slightly. It was strange to see Taichi looking so serious like that. It wasn't like he was never serious or anything though…

But still, the look on his face made him seem like a completely different person. He didn't deserve to be sad. _Taichi… _

Without thinking, Yamato started to ask Taichi what was wrong. "Ta-Taichi?"

Taichi was awakened from his thoughts. "Huh?"

"I-I…Well are you alright? I mean you really don't seem yourself, I was just wondering what was wrong…" 

The brunette shook his head. "It's nothing."

Yamato gazed at him sadly. "Hikari-chan?"

"Yeah. Hikari, and just some other stuff too."

__

Other stuff? Wondered Yamato. 

"I'm not sure of anything anymore…."

Yamato gave him a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry I'm sure we'll find that herb. We'll find it somehow." He said, hoping to put Taichi's at rest.

"You don't know that Yamato. Nobody knows that. Maybe God is the only one who knows, and he certainly won't help us. And even if we do find it, will be able to make it back in time to get it to her?"

"I…"

"Wh-What if the other's get attacked? What if their Digimon aren't strong enough. They…They can only evolve into ultimate. What if everyone gets killed? Hikari, Takeru, Sora…everybody! It's all my fault… All of this happened because of me. If only kept better watch of her, then - then she wouldn't have…."

Yamato felt both guilt and sorrow weigh up on him. He had never seen the chosen children's fearless leader act like this before. It frightened him. It frightened him a lot. He didn't want the brunette to act this way, he wanted him to be happy and optimistic like he always was. _He reminds me of myself…_

Suddenly the blond boy was overcome with a desperate urge to sweep Taichi into his arms and hold him tightly. He wanted to nurture him and say that everything would be all right in the end. Unfortunately such a thing could never be, and knowing this left Yamato feeling worthless and pathetic. 

Tears began to fill Taichi's eyes. Yamato could take this no longer. "Taichi stop talking like that! It's not your fault! You can't be responsible for Hikari all the time! It's that goddamn Digimon's fault not yours!"

"Of course it's my fault! I'm her big brother. I'm supposed to watch over her and protect her. I'm the one who let her get hurt!"

"You can't watch over her every single second."

"I know that but… I just wanted to move on. I was so busy leading everybody else that I didn't even notice her trailing behind. You should have seen her Yamato. The moment I heard her scream I rushed back to find her. That huge Digimon was coming towards her and she screamed out my name, that's when she…"

"Taichi…"

"I mean you would have never led that happen to Takeru."

Yamato frowned. He hadn't even been watching Takeru at the time Hikari got attacked. But then again, Takeru didn't even need him anymore. Yamato got up and placed his hand on Taichi's shoulder. "We all make mistakes-"

Taichi shook in off angrily. "Not mistakes that end up killing people!" Taichi buried his face into his knees. Yamato was slightly hurt to the way Taichi had reacted, but then again, he himself knew that he would have probably reacted in the same way if it was him in Taichi's position. He had always hated people feeling sorry for him. Ever since his parents had gotten a divorce, he had learnt to take care of himself. He no longer wanted or needed anybody's help. After all, if one spends most of his life alone, why start depending on others all of a sudden? 

"Ta-Taichi. I'm really sorry."

The brunette bust in sobs. He began to say something that Yamato wasn't quite able to make out. Tears began to fill Yamato's eyes. Quickly he wiped them away, still refusing to let anyone see him cry. Tightly, he grasped on to Taichi's arms and pulled him up. 

"Don't think like this! You shouldn't think so negative! Do you really think sitting here crying about it is going to help Hikari get better? If you really care about her then you'll stop crying and blaming yourself and go and keep searching! You have to be strong, I guess. Her life is depending on you, you know."

His soft tears still continued to run down his cheeks. "But…but…I just feel so useless!"

"Please stop crying." He pleaded softly. Taichi gazed at him, confused by the way he was acting towards him. Noticing Taichi's questioning stare, Yamato wrapped his arms tightly around the brunette, brining him towards his chest. "It'll be alright, I promise. Shhhh….calm down…" As he cradled the other boy in his arms realisation struck and it was only then that Yamato realised what he was actually doing. What was Taichi going to say?! He could just imagine the horrified look on Taichi' face, which was definitely something he didn't wish to face. He shut his eyes tightly expecting Taichi in a few moments to grab his collar and whack his fist against his jaw. 

__

Taichi… 

But a few moments passed and the outburst he was expecting from the other boy never came. Slowly he opened his eyes. Taichi was still sobbing into him. The brunette was now clinging tightly on to Yamato's shirt, seeming unwilling to let go. Yamato blushed, he had never seen this side of Taichi before. The same person that had let the rest of the chosen children into fierce and violent battles now seemed as weak and as innocent as a new-born kitten. 

"Taichi, it will be all right. It will definitely be all right. I promise." Slowly Taichi lifted his head and gazed curiously into the blonde's eyes. They were different, different from any time before. No longer were there any barriers surrounding his true persona. He looked different. Everything about him seemed different. But perhaps nothing was different. Perhaps nothing had really changed at all. Maybe he had been this way all along, yet he was to blind to see. Was this really Yamato? 

"Ya-Yamato…" he stuttered quietly.

"Taichi, are you alright now?" Yamato asked, still worried.

"I-I" Suddenly the brunette realised the situation and the position he was in. Immediately he shot up, his face red in embarrassment. How could he let his so-called rival see him in such a pitiful state?! "Yam-Yamato! I um…I uh…I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for you to see me like this. I just…"

The other boy gave him a small sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about it, it's fine. I was a little surprised but I'm glad you're all right now. I guess everyone gets like that once in awhile."

"Not you." The brunette stated as he wiped his tears away.

"You would be surprised." Replied Yamato, only half kidding.

A small smiled curved around Taichi's lips. He stared deep in the blond boy's beautiful blue eyes and got up. "Arigatou Yamato. That's twice you've helped me out, including saving me from falling off a cliff to my death. In other words, you're an alright guy Ishida."

Yamato blushed slightly, but as soon as he realised, he quickly covered the bottom of his face with his hand pretending he was wiping the bottom of his nose. "No-No problem. I…uh…mean thanks." Taichi had called him an 'alright guy'? Did this mean that he didn't hate him after all? Yamato felt a spark of joy rise inside him, but yet again his pessimism took over. Perhaps Taichi had said that only to be polite. Maybe he had just said as away thank him for saving him. His heart wanted to believe that Taichi really did like him, but then again…. _Damn. Why do emotions have to be so fucking confusing?_

There was a few moments silence between the two, each too scared and embarrassed to say anything. Suddenly Taichi noticed that Yamato's normally pale skin had reddened quite a bit. Was he blushing?! And if so, what was causing him to? All of a sudden Taichi felt his face do the same. Perhaps Yamato really wasn't as cold and stubborn as he had stereotyped him to be. Perhaps deep down the blond had a kind and caring side. Yes. Taichi knew this was true, and he was determined to see more of this side of Yamato.

It was Yamato who spoke up, breaking the silence as each of them had finished their thoughts. "Hey, did you see where Gabumon went to?"

Taichi gazed around himself trying to spot him. It then occurred to him that Agumon was no where in sight either. "No. But I can't see Agumon either. Man, don't tell me they went off for more food."

"That would be the most likely explanation." 

The brunette sighed quietly. "And I thought Agumon was going to go on a diet."

"We'd better go find them." Yamato suggested, beginning to grow worried. 

"Yeah." Agreed Taichi. Quickly they ran off.

A few minutes later they came across their Digimon who were standing near the edge of the cliff. Gabumon was the one standing nearest to it. "What are you guys doing?" Taichi asked curiously. "Yamato and I were put worried about you two." Agumon signalled for his partner to be quiet, and then turned back to Gabumon. Taichi stared in confusion.

"What's going on?" asked Yamato who had just arrived.

Gabumon turned around to face them, his face containing great worry. "A terrible storm is heading this way."

"Nani?! A storm?!" cried Taichi in a alarm.

"Yes and it is approaching very quickly."

"Gabumon, how do you know this?" his partner asked in concern.

"To be honest, I'm not very sure. I think it's because I am a Digimon related to ice and the coldness. I just have this strange feeling inside of my that something dangerous is approaching."

"Are you sure it's a storm."

The Digimon nodded. "Yes, I'm quite certain. And since we are in the mountains the snow will be extremely hazardous."

"Great, just great!" Yamato groaned in annoyance. He folded his arms and turned his gaze back to the Digimon. "So what do you suppose we do?"

"I think it would probably be best if we took shelter in a cave until the storm clears."

"What?! What we need to do is keep on looking for that medicine for Hikari. We can't just wait somewhere for the storm to pass, that could take hours!" yelled Taichi in anger. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to find that goddamn herb if it kills me! I won't let Hikari down any longer."

Yamato gave a small sympathetic smile. "Taichi…"

"Well I'm going now. You don't need to come, I'll find that plant myself if I have too." Taichi stated before running off. 

"Taichi! Wait!" Suddenly he stopped at the sound of Yamato's voice, knowing what the blond would probably say. "Look Yamato, I know that your probably thinking that I'm just being stubborn and stupid and about how reckless it is for me to run off when a giant storm is coming, but my sister's life depends on me and-"

"Taichi that's not what I was going to stay." Said Yamato, interrupting Taichi before he could any further.

The brunette blinked for a few moments. "It wasn't?"

"No. I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming with you. I know how much you care about Hikari, and I don't want her to die either. Hey after all if it were Takeru in this situation, I'd be doing the same thing."

"Yamato…"

"Hey, I'm coming too!" agreed Agumon happily. "No storms going to stop the all mighty Agumon!"

Taichi smiled. "Thanks buddy."

"How about you Gabumon? Are you coming with us?" questioned Yamato.

The Digimon still looked slightly uneasy, but managed to conjure up a small smile. "I still think it's dangerous but…Of course I'll go! What kind of Digimon would I be if I didn't? Besides it's my job to protect you Yamato, no matter what. Where ever you go, I go!"

Yamato smiled. "Thank you."

"Alright! Let's go!" shouted Taichi, enthusiastically.

And so they headed off…

****

Authors Notes: Sorry about the last sentence, I know it really sucks. I couldn't really think of something better to write at the time, unfortunately. The quote "It will definitely be all right." Which Yamato says when trying to comforting Taichi, is from the anime Cardcaptor Sakura. Sakura says this a lot and I was just recently reminded of it so basically I couldn't resist not using it. I love Cardcaptor Sakura, such a great anime! ^_^ Of course definitely not referring to the English dubbed version …. *shudders* 

I hope this chapter was all right, and I promise to try and get the next chapter posted as soon as possible. I still have to update my other story 'Shadows from the past', but hopefully I can get both updated quite soon. 


	5. Pain

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Authors Notes: I finally managed to post the next chapter. Sorry if there are lots of spelling mistakes or grammar errors, I was actually off school sick today and decided to type it up from my notebook. Gomen for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy.

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Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Digimon. (It's probably a good thing that I don't or it'd be such a crappy series.)

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Chapter five: Pain

For hours they walked further and further up the winding mountain paths. Gabumon's prediction had came true, a storm was heading. And if the storms in the Digital world were as bad as the Digimon made them out to be, then they were definitely in trouble. Still Taichi pushed on; nothing was going to him from saving Hikari. Yamato admired the brunette for this. It also proved that he was wrong about Taichi, he didn't just care about himself. Regret came upon him as he remembered all the horrible things he had said to him in the past. He sighed and griped his folded arms tightly around his thin body. The wind blew harder and the coldness was becoming severe. He envied Gabumon for having that fur coat. His mind wandered back to the determined boy ahead. He began to wonder if they hadn't been so different, would they have gotten to know each other better in the past? Who knows, maybe they would have ended up as really close friends. The thought brought a smile to his face, but it vanished as fast as it had came as he was struck by reality. Such a thing could have never happened. He couldn't have friends…

He placed his hand down his collar and took out his crest. He stared at it, examining the symbol over and over in his mind. How he loathed this crest. _Friendship…_

Why was it that everyone else got a crest that actually suited their personalities? There was Koushiro, the smartest kid Yamato had ever met in his entire life. He knew just about everyone there was to about computers and technology. His Crest of Knowledge definitely suited him. The cautious Jyou had a great sense of responsibility, and for this he had gained the crest of reliability. Mimi who although was whiney and annoying at times, had a very kind and sincere personality. This earned her the Crest of Purity. Hikari represented the crest of Light throughout her personality, as well as her name. Sora definitely deserved her Crest of love. She was always concerned about the others, and became extremely worried in case anyone got hurt. Even though Yamato found her annoying at times, he also thought of her as sister. Then there was his little brother Takeru. The child always seemed to be filled with so much happiness, so optimistic, always looking on the bright side of things. Truthfully, Yamato couldn't think of anyone better suited for the Crest of Hope. 

And finally there was Taichi, and of course no one could argue about him not living up to his Crest of Courage. Taichi had to be the most brave, athletic and adventurous person he had ever known. The brunette was bursting with so much energy and confidence. Yamato doubted that he would ever admit it, but at times, he was jealous of Taichi. He was able to make friends so easily, and just about everyone (excluding evil Digimon) seemed to like him. He deserved the Crest of Friendship so much more than he did. Takeru loved him so much that he probably wanted Taichi as his brother from now on. This reminded him of the deep anger he held towards the brunette for trying to take his little brother away from him. 

A giant wave of confusion washed over him. He hated Taichi, yet now he was beginning to like him. But what worried him the most was the fear that his fondness for Taichi might be changing into something. He refused to believe such a thing, but a voice at the back of his mind continually taunted him from trying to escape the thought. But such a thing couldn't be true, could it? It made no sense at all. If someone had suggested the thought a few days ago, he would have shouted at them so much that his voice would probably end up damaged afterwards. He had been having strange feelings about Taichi for awhile now, but before he was always able to shake them off. Now he found that the thoughts wouldn't leave them. He could no longer ignore that fear. And Yamato had a strong feeling that it would remain with him for a very long time. Slowly the memory of Myotismon appeared before him. He remembered just how tightly he had held Taichi's hand when Angemon and Angewoman were about to strike their arrows at them. Both of them were frightened, there was no denying that. But still, they stuck together. He remembered that one of smile Taichi had gave him. 

__

Hey, don't worry Yamato. Hikari, Takeru and the Digimon wouldn't even think about doing this if they knew there was a chance we could get killed. We've just got to have faith. We have to believe in them.

Yamato nodded and gave the brunette a small smile in return. _Yeah you're right!_ Both held hands finally prepared for what was about to come. As the arrows drew nearer a strange and wonderful sensation rose up from within him. It sparked in his hands until finally it consumed his whole body. He could hear the blood pumping through his veins, but his heart remained the loudest. Suddenly he realised that it was not only his own heart he was hearing, but Taichi's too. Both were beating together. Back then Yamato had dismissed this as nothing more than side effects caused by the two angelic Digimon, but now he was sure it was something else. It was love. 

Yes, he loved Yagami Taichi…

For the first time ever, he had finally admitted it to himself. He gripped his Crest even harder as tears began to well up in his eyes. How could this of happened? Was such a feeling created just for the purpose of torturing him? Why the hell did life have to be fucking unfair? He had been distancing himself from others for so long now that he knew nothing of kindness and love. Two days ago he had convinced himself he hated him, now he loved him. Oh, the confusion of life had him tightly wrapped around its little finger. 

He took a deep breath and quickly wiped his tears away. If Taichi and the Digimon saw him crying it would just draw attention and questioning, and that was the last thing he wanted right now. 

Yamato had now come to a firm decision. He would leave. If he didn't he might accidentally blurt out his true feelings by mistake, then all hell would break loose. Nobody needed him anyway. Nobody wanted him. After all, when he and Taichi rejoined the others, things would return to normal wouldn't they? Taichi would be leading the others then he would disagree with one of Taichi's plans, then of course they would fight until the other chosen couldn't take anymore and finally tried to break the fight up. This was routine he definitely did not want to go back too. So it was decided, as soon as they found the medicine for Hikari he would leave. 

__

Taichi I wish you could know the truth….

Taichi had been walking slightly ahead of Yamato, along with Agumon. The thought of what happened earlier stuck in his mind. It had embarrassed a lot, but the way Yamato had spoke to him, it was so different. 

__

Yamato, he does care about me, doesn't he? The way he held me, the way he comforted me when I was crying, it really was as if he cared about me. But is this true? Yamato, he's so hard to figure out. I've been with him for months now, yet I barely know anything about him. Who is the real Ishida Yamato? And how does he feel about me? 

He gazed around slowly, noticing the sad look plastered upon Yamato's face. It wasn't unusual for the blonde boy to look this way, but still it bothered Taichi.

Does that mean you're never happy?

Look Taichi it doesn't matter what I feel. It doesn't matter…

Taichi swallowed nervously. How could someone possibly be sad all the time? Life was too short to waste it all on depression. Taichi bit his lip, thinking of what he had just thought. It actually was a bit hypocritical of him, after all if it weren't for Yamato he would probably still be crying right now. Taichi knew there had to be a reason for Yamato to act the way he did. He was quite sure it had to do with his parent's divorce. _He does always want to be with Takeru. _

At that moment, Taichi regretted saying all the bad things he had said to Yamato. He just wasn't used to someone disagreeing with him all the time. None of the others did. He and Yamato argued about it a lot. Maybe he wasn't as good a leader as he thought he was.

You've got responsibilities as the leader of the Digidestined to look out for everyone. While you're way up here, the others are back there and could have been in trouble!

The memory shot through him like a bullet puncturing his heart. It was all his fault that Hikari got hurt. If he had paid more attention then she may have escaped the battle without a scratch! 

__

Why the hell did I act so stupid?! Why didn't I look more carefully?! It should have been me that got hurt in battle, not her! Yamato was right the first time. I do act like I don't care. And now the storms coming and I have no fucking chance of finding that goddamn flower!

"I hate this! It's not fair!" he screamed in total rage, falling down to his knees. He was a monster. He only cared for himself. He didn't even deserve to be the leader anymore. He was just as bad as all those demonic Digimon he had fought in the past. "I don't want to be like that! I'm not fucking like that!"

"Taichi what's wrong?!" cried Agumon, frightened by his partners sudden breakout. 

"Noooooo! I hate this! I hate this! I don't want to be like this! I don't want anybody to get hurt! I don't want my little sister to die!"

Yamato instantly rushed up the pathway to Taichi. He was overcome with shock as he looked down upon the brunette. "Taichi!" He gasped loudly for breath and leapt down by Taichi's side. "Taichi! Taichi, what's wrong?!" he asked worriedly. 

"What's wrong?! Everything's wrong, that's what! You were right, Yamato! You were right!" he sobbed hysterically.

"I was right? What was I right about Taichi?! Taichi!" he cried almost in tears himself.

Taichi raised his head and looked straight into the blonde's eyes. "That-that I don't care! That I'm heartless! Everything you said was true."

Fear washed over him at Taichi's words. He was acting like this because of him. Because of all the horrible things he had said in the past. This was all his fault. "Taichi don't say that! It's not true! They're just lie! They're all lies! I-I just didn't know what I was saying, that's all. Everybody says things they don't really mean."

"No, you were right. You're always right about everything! I was so caught up in stopping the Dark masters that I caused my sister's own death!" A loud horrifying scream escaped his lips, and instantly he grasped hold of his head. The world around him was spinning. "I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!"

Yamato's mouth widened in shock. He had never seen anyone act this way before, and out of all the chosen children, he thought he would never see Taichi like this. Tears pored down his face. No, this wasn't Taichi. Taichi would never act like this. It couldn't be the fearless leader he knew, it just couldn't be. Yamato felt helpless, he was never good at comforting people. He didn't have much experience in the matter.

Long ago he had told himself if that people didn't bother about him, then why should he take pity upon the weak? He had held all his feelings of sorrow and pain inside himself for so long, pushing it down into the deepest hole possible. He hated emotions. They destroyed him. He looked back to Taichi still sitting sobbing on the ground hysterically.

I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

He searched desperately in his mind for a way to help Taichi. But what could he do? He knew that his words would be meaningless to Taichi. Taichi hated him. He couldn't ignore this fact. But still he couldn't ignore the fact that he was developing feelings for him. Could he ever tell him? Would fate let him tell him? He wished for a sign. The thought of not being in control of his own life frightened him. 

__

What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? 

Tell him, Baka…

Yamato's eyes widened. He looked around quickly and gazed at the Digimon. They were tending over Taichi. Neither of them had said anything. Again Yamato looked around him. There was no sign of life. _Am I going insane?_ That voice, it was so strange… It sounded strange…. It felt strange…What in the hell was it? The blond boy bit his lip; it was now or never. The voice was telling him to admit love to someone that just a day ago he thought he hated. Such a thing seemed absurd yet at the same time it made since. What ever that weird voice was, it was helping him. _All right, it is now or never, Ishida. _

He waited a few more moments trying to see if the voice would perhaps return and tell him something else, but of course it never did. He cursed his luck. He looked back to Taichi, still crying. He could hug him, he could make the brunette feel better again, but this was only in his imagination. The tanned boy was so beautiful, so innocent, so carefree and happy. Opposites attract. Yamato had never believed this phrase before. He believed that someone the exact opposite from him would never understand, that they would just annoy the living hell out of him, and for awhile this was true. 

__

I want to be happy just like Taich. But Taichi isn't happy right now so… what do I want to be now?

"Ta-Tai-Tai…chi…"

The brunette never responded, still lost deep inside his own self-pity. 

Slowly Yamato bent down closer to him and tried his best to speak a bit louder. "Taichi there's something I need to tell you…"

Taichi glanced up and blew his nose into his arm hoping to soften the loud sobs coming from him. "What-What is it?"

Yamato bit his lip. He had no idea were to start, neither could he believe that he was actually doing this. The little colour that had once belonged to his cheeks was gone leaving him looking deathly pale. "Ta-Taichi, I-I"

"Yamato what's wrong?" Taichi asked quietly beginning to worry that there was now something wrong with the blond also. 

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly together as he slowly inhaled a deep breath. "Taichi, I think I love-"

Suddenly the ground below them started to shake. The ground began to crack as piles of rocks were hurdled over the side of the mountain. 

"Yamato! What's happening?!" cried Taichi in panic.

"I think it must be an earthquake, either that or it's an-"

"Ahhhhh!" Before he could finish he was interrupted by two loud screams. Immediately both boys turned around only to see their Digimon being thrown off the mountain. 

"Gabumon!"

"Agumon!" The ground below them too broke in half. Both boys were thrown up into the air, landing back down on another boulder. Yamato cursed loudly and forced himself up, remembering Taichi and the Digimon. "Taichi!"

The brunette was awakened to the sound of his companion's voice. "Yamato…" Slowly he sat up, feeling like he had just got the shit beaten out of him. Yamato quickly ran towards him. "Taichi get up, we have to get out of here!"

Taichi blinked, still disorientated about things from the fall. He immediately gazed around his surroundings trying his best to get a better grasp of what was getting on. He frowned. "Where's Agumon?" He was alarmed by a sudden thud. His eyes widened in horror as avalanche of snow started flowing down from above. Seeing Yamato, he started to run towards him. "Yamato!" 

The blond boy held out his pale hand. "Taichi!" Taichi reached out take his friends hand, but the harsh snow hurdled them away before Taichi could make that final reach. Both screamed, and at that moment, Yamato felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

__

Taichi…I'm sorry…"

Suddenly all was black…

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Authors Notes: I'm really unsure of this chapter so sorry if it sucks. Oh cliff-hanger, aren't I the evil one? If any one wants me to e-mail them with updates on this fic just tell me and I'll be happy to do so. Thank you very much for reading. ^_^

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	6. Love

**Authors Notes: **Well this is the last chapter. I hope it is to bad and hope you enjoy it. 

**Disclaimer: **Obviously Shadow-chan doesn't Digimon so please don't sue ^_^;

Blackness…. Blackness surrounding him… Blackness everywhere…  The cold consumed his weak and frail form causing him to shiver uncontrollably. He curled up into a small ball trying to maintain what body heat he had left. It was cold… so cold…. Tears filled his eyes and for the first time in his life he didn't try to prevent it. His tears turned to ice before they had even reached his cheeks. 

Ice. When he looked into the mirror all he could see were those cold ice blue eyes staring back at him. They threatened to destroy almost anyone who looked into them without his permission. Of course he hadn't always been like this. He had once been happy and carefree child with the only wish to look after his little brother. Then his parents got a divorce ripping him and his brother apart. The image of his mother dragging Takeru away hurt him. It has left a huge scar, a scar that would never fade. All he had ever wanted to do was protect his brother. He had tried so hard in doing so that he hadn't even realised that Takeru no longer needed him. No one needed him. And now he felt pathetic. 

All this time he thought Takeru needed him, but really he was the one that needed Takeru. And now that Takeru didn't need him anymore he was all alone. Taichi was gone also. He had fallen in love with his enemy and now fate had taken him away. Yamato felt his heart shatter into a million different pieces. Why did life have to be so cruel? Why did he have to suffer so much? Was God doing this just to spite him? He didn't know, but sure as ever he felt that he could not go on. Takeru, Taichi, Gabumon and everyone else, he had let all of them down and as punishment he would lie in the snow and freeze to death. Death. Yes at this moment and time the word sounded so sweet. He grasped himself tighter. Freezing to death sure wasn't a nice way to die.  

Taichi I'm so sorry. How could I let you slip away from me so easily? I-I'm just so sorry. But sorry doesn't cut it right? I could have helped you but I failed. Just like I failed everybody else I've known in my life. But this time hurts the most. Knowing I've let you down I've let Hikari down. Because of me you sister will die. I can't even do a thing to help. I'm a disgrace so I will die a disgraceful death, leaving myself here to freeze. Yet again I'm sorry, and I won't even ask of your forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it. I never even got the chance to tell you how I really felt…

(Yamato don't give up. You have to keep going, you have to. You can do it!)

Yamato eyes widened. "Ta-Taichi?" Instantly he stood up shaking the snow from him. "Taichi? Taichi!" He looked around desperately for the other boy but there was no one to be seen. He began to call out for him again, only this time louder. There was still no reply. Maybe he had imagined it all. Maybe he was becoming delusional. It-it can't be. It sounded so real. He fell down on the snow. "No…Taichi you-you can't leave me. You just have to be alive. You can't die yet not before... Taichi I love you."

 Suddenly a blue glow emerged through his shirt. Yamato gazed in amazement as he reached for his Crest of Friendship. The light glowed brightly and seemed to be reacting with Yamato's Digivice which was continually beeping. An image of Taichi's happily smiling face appeared in his mind. It brought a small smile to the blondes face. No Taichi would never give up and neither should I! 

Quickly he got up on his feet and started running in direction his Digivice pointed too. Don't worry Taichi, I'm coming. 

He had now been running for quite some time was beginning to feel really week. The coldness was getting to him but his Digivice signalled that Taichi was close. Forcing himself to move faster he accidentally toppled over face first into the snow. He groaned in annoyance. I have to keep going. I can't let Taichi down again. As he pushed himself up he felt something underneath him. He blinked curiously and moved towards it and began to dig it up. He gave a loud sneeze. Not even his thick gloves were enough to keep his hands from freezing, but still he continued to dig. He stopped in shock as the item amongst the snow became recognisable. It was Taichi's goggles. He picked them up and held on to them tightly. Taichi would never go anywhere without his goggles, not if he had the choice. 

"Taichi!" The Digivice continued to beep loudly. He got up and chased after the signal which eventually led him to a huge heap of snow he was sure was caused by the avalanche. "Taichi you-you couldn't be under all that snow could you?" A blade representing his fear stabbed through his heart as he wondered worriedly if Taichi could have survived the avalanche. Apart of him refused to believe that Taichi was dead. Taichi was strong. He wouldn't let a little bit of snow beat him. Yamato began to dig away the snow desperately wishing Gabumon was there to help him. His fear grew again. What if Gabumon hadn't survived? 

Suddenly Yamato felt something. A body? Taichi's body? This made him dig even faster. After digging some of the snow away, he could make out his beautiful face. "Taichi!" he yelled frantically as he pulled the body out of the snow. "Taichi wake up! Wake up!" he begged. Minutes later the brunette opened his eyes. His vision was still blurry but he managed to make out the figure of the blond boy before him. "Taichi!"

He stared in confusion. "Ya-Yamato?"

"Yeah Taichi, its me." 

"What-what happened? The snow it started to fall…"

"Taichi I'm so sorry this, this is all my fault. I could. I could have saved you and-and now you're hut. I'm so sorry." The blond boy sobbed."

"Come on it's not your fault."

"But-"

"It-it's so cold isn't it." Taichi interrupted. Yamato nodded and gently placed his hand against Taichi's cheek. 

"We'd better get out of here soon or we'll end up freezing to death."

Taichi smiled softly, his chocolate eyes staring into Yamato's ocean of blue. "Yamato I need you to do something for me."

"Sure anything."

"I need you to go and find that flower and take it back for Hikari."

"Sure Taichi we'll go together, I'm sure you'll feel better soon."

"No you have to go alone…"

"What and just leave you here?!" questioned Yamato in shock.

"Yes. I don't know if I'll survive or not, I-I just feel so cold. But I just need you to keep going to get the flower to Hikari-chan."

"What about you ?! I'm not going to leave you here to die!"

"Please Yamato I'm begging." cried the brunette. Yamato gazed into his brown eyes. He'd do anything for Taichi but leave him all alone to die? It just didn't seem right. If it wasn't for Taichi he'd probably be dead right now too. 

"Taichi, I-I just ca-can't. I won't leave you here to die like this."

"Why not? You don't even like me, you hate me and if you're not going just to spite me and make my little sister suffer then you really are just a fucking bastard. Don't you care about anyone but yourself?" Taichi spat back angrily.

"Of course I do! That's the reason I'm not going!"

"Just what do you mean?"

"I'm not going because I care about you! I couldn't live with myself knowing that I left you here to die."

"Yamato…"

"You irritated me so much in the past that sometimes I even wanted you dead. But after this old ordeal I-I can't help but love-"

Yamato stopped instantly realising what he had just said. This quickly caught Taichi's attention.

"Uh Ya-Yamato who do you love?"

Yamato bit his bottom lip. He was overcome with fear and anxiety but was no longer able to contain his feeling. Taichi would hate him for what he felt and his desires would be shattered leaving him without a purpose once again. "Taichi I know you will hate me for saying this but I can't hold it any longer, Taichi I love you…"

Taichi stared at him curiously. Had he heard what he thought he had heard or was his imagination playing tricks on him? He gulped quietly. All his courage seemed to flow out of his body, but could this stop him from saying how he really felt? "Yamato… I think I love you too…"

Yamato looked up at him in complete shock. Had he heard what he though he had heard or was he just imagining things?  "Do you really mean it?" he asked in awe. 

Taichi's skin turned redder. "Hai. To be honest it's really hard to admit after all that's happened between us. But I've never felt this way before, not about anyone. What's happened to 

Hikari is awful but maybe this journey was a good thing after all. I got to learn things about you that I never thought possible. And I discovered I was right, you're not completely cold after all." He gave a small smile. "Glad I didn't give in to that belief."

Yamato bent over and placed his hands on the tanned boy's shoulders. With this grip of support he placed his lips against Taichi's giving him a soft kiss. Taichi shut his eyes enjoying this small movement of pleasure. He felt too weak to wrap his arms around Yamato and so instead he let himself lean deeper into his kiss. A few moments later both boys parted. 

"Yamato…"

Suddenly both their crests began to glow. Taichi's orange and Yamato's blue. "What-what's happening?" A warm glow entered their body's healing all the pain they had suffered during the avalanche. It was a wonder sensation as all pain simply seemed to evaporate into nothingness. Their bodies glowed brightly. Taichi slowly opened his eyes to see his love bathed in an aura of blue. He looked so beautiful. A few minutes later the glows seemed to fade but of course the calming sense remained. Both their faces had returned to normal no longer so pale. 

Yamato placed his hand on Taichi's cheek. "You're warm."

"So are you." Taich replied, doing the same as Yamato. As they gazed into each others eyes they were suddenly reminded of Taichi's sister.

"Hikari!" Yamato nodded knowing that would have to find the plant soon. Wait what about Agumon and Gabumon?"

The blond boy stared back sadly. "I don't know."

Taichi's face fell. "What happened to them? Did they fall off too?"

"I have no idea, but hey they're Digimon, they are a lot stronger that humans. I'm sure they'll be fine."

"I guess your right. Right now we have to focus on Hikari, and if we don't get back on time…"

Yamato felt sorry for his friend but he was also determined to help him. "Come on we have to hurry up." Quickly he grabbed Taichi's hands and pulled his to the ledge. "It looks really danger." said Yamato as he stared down in the vastness of white.

"I don't care I have to go."

Yamato gave a small laugh. "Hai. I know. Now come on, we're all ready running out of time."

Taichi went first, grasping Yamato's hand tightly he moved. Yamato had his eyes tightly shut to frightened to look down in case he fell. He hated heights, especially ones were there was a chance you could fall down and die.

"We're almost there." Said Taichi noticing how tense Yamato looked. Taichi stopped instantly as the ground before him began to shatter slightly. This part of the ledge seemed to be weak and Taichi began to dread the thought that it couldn't support the both of them. "Yamato wait!"

"What's wrong?" he questioned fearfully. Snow began to collapse from the up of the mountain as the winds grew and it was coming straight towards them.  Both screamed each other name as the ledge broke below them. Yamato's heart beat rapidly. No it couldn't end like this. Not after all that had happened, not when he had just admitted his true feelings. It couldn't be like this. No… Suddenly he felt something hard collide with his back. Was that it? Was that the gigantic fall? Honestly he had expected much worst. He opened his revealing that he was flying through the air. "Na-nani?"

"Yamato!" Taichi threw his arms around the blond and squealed happily. "They're alive!"

Quickly he looked around. He was riding on his own Digimon. "Metalgarurumon!"

"Happy to see me?" 

"God yes!" he replied instantly. "But how did you find us?"

"When Agumon were revived my powers of the crest we knew that you must be alive. We knew you two would continue searching for Hikari's medicine so we thought you'd be climbing to the top."

"To be honest we thought you would have all ready at the top by now." said Wargreymon, jokingly.

"Hey give us a break!" cried Taichi. The dinosaur Digimon just laughed.

"Let's hurry and get up there!"

Thankfully it didn't take them very long to find when they finally reached the top. And after taking some they quickly flew back to the other.

"I hope Hikari-chan will be all right."

"Trust me she will." replied Yamato kindly.

Taichi smiled and nodded. "Hai." Showing their joy they passionately began to kiss each other.  

*********************************************************

"I'm really worried. They've gone for so long." Spoke Sora biting her nails nervously.

Takeru gently placed his hand on Hikari's forehead. "Sora-san will Hikari-chan be all right?"

The girl gave a small sigh of dismay. She didn't to lie to the younger boy anymore. "I don't know Takeru, we'll just have to see."

"I should have gone with them." said Tailmon curling into her unconscious partner's side."

"I really don't think it would have made much of a difference." stated Koushiro still typing away on his laptop. 

"Well it's better than sitting here doing nothing!" the cat-like creature spat back at him.

Koushiro ignored her remark and to talk to everyone. "Sora is right, they've been gone way to long considering we're almost drawing the forty-eight hour mark."

Mimi squealed. "You mean?!"

The red headed boy frowned and slowly nodded. "Yes I'm afraid so." Everyone gazed at the girl sadly. Their friend was dying right before their eyes and they could do nothing to help the girl. Takeru began to break into tears and to be honest Sora felt that she wanted to do the same. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and tried to comfort the younger boy. He was so young, it seemed wrong to bring to little children like Takeru and Hikari here. After all look how hurt Hikari had got. She wanted to scream. Kuso!

Suddenly Tailmon's large ears perked up.

"What's wrong Tailmon?" Sora asked frightened in case it was an enemy Digimon.

"I hear something." The cat-like creature replied keep her concentration.

"Really, what?" asked Mimi.

"Hey I hear it too!" cried Patamon.

A large figure emerged from the trees and landed near them.

"Ahhh it's an evil Digimon!!" yelled Jyou in panic.

"It's Metalgarurumon!" yelled Koushiro.

"Taichi!" cried Gatomon quickly rushing over. Yamato and Taichi jumped down from the Digimon and made their way over.

"Well?" Taichi held out the flower.

"You found it!" everyone cried gleefully. Jyou took the flower and immediately got to work in preparing it for Hikari. Time was running and no one had seen Jyou work so fast before. 

Using a small bowl and large stick he was able to crumble down enough to make it appear in liquid form. Gently he lifted Hikari's head up so she could swallow it. "Thank God you got here in time, had you taken any longer then it would have been too late."

"So does that mean she'll be all right?" Taichi asked nervously.

Jyou gave a small smile. "I think so, all thought I can't be one hundred per sent sure but the medicine is very powerful so it should have a strong effect on her. 

"I'm so glad you're back, for awhile I didn't think you two would make it back in time." Sora sighed in relief. 

"Onii-san I really missed you!" said Takeru wrapping his arms around his brother.

Yamato smiled and picked him up. "I missed you too."

"You did?" the younger boy asked hopefully.

Yamato laughed. "Of course."

"How long will it be before she gets any better?" asked Taichi, his question directed at Koushiro.

"The information I've gather so far says it good be between one to ten hours."

"So basically it's just a waiting game." the brunette asked, frowning. He gazed down sadly at his sister. Yamatoput his hand on his friend's shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile. 

"Don't worry, she'll be okay now. All we can do now is wait."

Taichi nodded. "Yeah you're right."

About two hours had passed and colour slowly seemed to return to Hikari's cheeks. 

"Hey look everybody!" cried Palmon pointing towards Hikari. Hikari was beginning to stir awake and could faintly be heard muttering something.

Taichi instantly rushed to her side. "Hikari!" Tired and confused she opened her eyes. "Taichi…" she whispered softly.

"Hikari-chan are-are you all right?" 

"I think so, I just feel so tried. What happened?"

Taichi burst into tears of joy and grabbed her into a tight hug. "God I was so scared. I'm so glad you're all right."

"Um what happened?" the little girl asked, confused that everyone happened to be staring at her.

Tailmon curled into her. "Hikari-chan…"  
  


"See I told you she'd be all right." said Yamato happy to see that a smile had returned to his loves face. 

"Yamato thank you. Thank you for all you've done. If it wasn't for you I'd have never gotten that flower. I would have never been able to get it on my own.  You're so kind, that's why I love you so." Yamato turned a dark shade of red. While everyone was fussing over Hikari he took Yamato's hand and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"I still can't over the fact that this all happened."

"Yeah but I guess we shouldn't think about it to much and look to the good of it."

Taichi gave a small laugh. "Of course it's good."

Yamato reached down and pulled out his crest from his jumper. "Do you still feel it? What we felt earlier." 

"Yeah, it feels so strange but it's nice."

"Maybe it was a sign, a sign that we can save the Digital world." Yamato said unusually optimistic. 

"Hai and if any evil Digimon tried to mess with Hikari or even you they're gonna get their asses kicked!" the tanned boy yelled landing a punching into the air.

Yamato just chuckled. "So delusional..."

Taichi sweatdropped. "Hey am not!"

"Well delusional but also very cute." Yamato wrapped his arms around the brunette and began to softly kiss him. Taichi blushed placed his hands on the blonds waist. "I can live with cute."

"Hey should uh we go and tell the others?" Yamato asked becoming oddly nervous. 

Taichi nodded quickly noticing the worry on Yamato's face. "Don't worry they'll accept it. The only problem is…"

"What?"

"Will they believe it?"

Yamato shrugged. "Probably not but hey if they don't believe us, at least we have an excuse."

"Yep."

Both passionately kissed each forgetting that that their love was indeed a mysterious occurrence. But then again it didn't matter. They'd grown so much through the whole experience that the learned to expect things for what they were. Besides you can't help the one you love and both knew this more than anything…

**Owari**

**Authors Notes: **Sorry if the ending was boring and corny. To be honest I had differ ways of ending it and wasn't sure which one to choose, eventually my mind threw this one at me. Gomen if the ending was bad. Thank you very much for everyone who has read and reviewed my story. It means lots and lots to me. ^_^  Arigatou gozaimasu!


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